MIDDLE
My daughter’s middle name will stay the same (Anastasia), as will her first name, but so many other things about her life (and ours) changed yesterday when she got married.
I kept the middle name I had been given at birth (Elaine) rather than changing it to my maiden name (Rucker) when I got married. My middle name honors my mother’s best friend, Elaine, who I always called “Aunt Elaine.”
My husband and I love Tenley’s middle name. It was mainly his choice (because he loves Russian history). It’s such a pretty name, and a good conversation piece (as is her first name).
When I posted about their wedding last night, I “checked in” on Facebook at the reception venue and tagged her along with writing out her husband’s first name.
I thought about that today and realized I should have put her new last name after the name I had tagged on Facebook. I was in the process of editing the post when I realized she had already changed her Facebook name to her new married name.
Many women these days don’t change their name to that of their spouse. I changed mine. I knew she would change hers, but it’s still so representative of the passage of marriage to essentially “lose” the last name you had all your life.
Because her new last name is “Ward” and her middle initial is “A,” her new handle on Instagram is tenleyaward, and I like how it has “award” in it. I love wordplay … and I hope this new beginning feels as satisfying as an award.
Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via coordinator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell-checking, as you can imagine.)
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
I took Michael’s name in our first marriage but after our divorce I never took another name. And now that we are remarried I kept my birth name. Because…it’s my name. I have had it all my life. I don’t understand why more women don’t keep their names, it seems to me archaic to take a man’s name.
I hear you, Carol. Isn’t it fascinating how things change? When I was writing this post, every time I typed “maiden name,” for the first time in 50+ years I thought “wow — that really hearkens back to a different time”! At any rate, thanks for commenting. 🙂
I miss my maiden name. I took my husband’s last name since we wanted kids, and I felt we should all have the same last name. But I do miss my “original”, it feels more me. The idea of wives and kids having the husband’s last name does annoy me a bit, but whatcha gonna do?
Congratulations!
Yeah — I think it’s one of those things that is changing with the times. I have known a man or two who either took their spouse’s name or hyphenated. I think that’s a cool modern twist.
I had a long and complicated Maiden Name. So I welcomed a short, rather easy to remember last name, until everyone decided that we were HARVEY! No, there is no R it’s HAVEY. You just never know.
YES! I know I responded on Facebook but I agree!!
A huge congratulations to your sweet girl, Paula! I was so happy to take my Husby’s name. When our eldest son got married, I was in the Receiving line next to my beloved new DIL. Someone came through and took her hand and asked her name. She smiled and said, “Barb Tolley!” I was just so happy to hear it, I teared up!
Aw, I love that. I got a new daughter-in-law last November, and it was sweet to see her take our name.
Things have really changed over the years concerning taking on your husband’s last name when you got married. I wonder why? You can always use your maiden name as the middle name (which is what I do) if you want to keep it.
Visiting from #36
They have definitely changed!! I kept my middle name (Elaine) b/c I loved my Aunt Elaine so much and Paula Rucker Kiger sounded like a farm implement to me (let’s get on the Rucker-Kiger and till the field!). I’m glad Tenley loves her middle name (Anastasia) so much. It meant a lot to my husband and me as well.
Your daughter’s middle name is beautiful, as is yours.
Your story brought to mind our family’s middle name story. My husband and I were pen-pals before we actually met in person. During our writing relationship we realized that we both shared the same middle name of ‘Lynn’. It was a family name for him, as his father and grandfather shared it too. When we married and had children several years later, we gave both our son and daughter that middle name. Our son later married a girl with that middle name. When our future son-in-law asked for our daughter’s hand in marriage, he quipped, “Can I marry your daughter even if my middle name isn’t Lynn?” Ha!
~ Cindie (FMF #39)
That is such a great story, Cindie!