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April 21, 2019

Five Minute Friday: NEXT

NEXT

With apologies that this post is a bit cryptic, the topic won’t stay subdued, so here goes.

As I shared on social media earlier this week, my colleague and friend, Katie, shares a daily kindness text. One of the kindness texts this week resonated with me in a way that was deeper than the others (which were also great).

I turned it into a graphic. Many people said they loved it. One brave person said she isn’t sure it’s always possible. I struggled mentally with who my “someone” would be.

I also struggled with what comes next after the forgiving.

In my situation, the scenario isn’t one where the other individual violated me in any way – it wasn’t a robbery or some other thing that would make people say, “Now THAT was a crime!”

It was — to try to put words around it — a result of timing. We didn’t know each other well enough to have established trust, and I had a lot riding on our interactions. My sense of where I fit in was affected by our interactions, and my sense of competence (it always comes down to that for me).

Because those were the two things affected, I realized every time I turned this situation over in my mind that it wasn’t so much that the individual needed to be forgiven. I needed to figure out how to forgive myself (for feeling unsure in general, and for a few attempts to right the ship that came across (perhaps) as too aggressive, not assertive enough or in some other way out of place)).

*** end of five minutes ***

It’s one thing to forgive someone involved in a situation that led to ill will. It’s a more difficult process to set a scene for what comes next that edifies everyone involved.

Five Minute Friday NEXT

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

Paula Kiger
Paula Kiger

Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.

Filed Under: Five Minute Friday Tagged With: Forgiveness

Previous Post: « Remembering Mia
Next Post: April 2019 Share Four Somethings »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Karen Beidelman says

    April 21, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    Sometimes forgiving ourselves is much more difficult than forgiving others. Thanks for sharing. FMF #54

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      April 22, 2019 at 2:59 pm

      Isn’t that the truth?

      Reply
  2. Rena says

    April 22, 2019 at 11:30 am

    This also resonated with me. I have held on to hurt for a very long time. It’s time to just let it go.

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      April 22, 2019 at 3:37 pm

      Maybe I should have used a Frozen/Elsa graphic here! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Haralee says

    April 22, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    It is freeing to let it go!

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      April 22, 2019 at 3:37 pm

      Isn’t that the truth?

      Reply
  4. Tara says

    April 24, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    I love the kindness graphic and quote!

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger (Big Green Pen) says

      April 25, 2019 at 6:48 am

      Isn’t it great?

      Reply

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