November is National Family Caregivers Month and Thanksgiving is almost here! That means it is time, for the third year, to create tokens of appreciation for the caregivers at Tallahassee’s Elder Day Stay. (Here’s a look back at Year One and Year Two.)
Why does it matter to say “thank you” in this small way to caregivers?
Caregiving is Expensive
The costs of home, community, and facility care of elder family members has increased over the past year. According to Genworth Financial, the national median daily rate of Adult Day Health Care (providing social and support services in a community-based, protective setting) is $70, a 2.94% change since 2016 and a five-year annual growth rate of $2.79%.
Caregiving is Messy
I have grown to hate (or at least to try to tune out) most advertising around the caregiving options for elderly family members. The sweet grandma reading a story to an attentive grandchild, the sentimental music playing in the background as families gaze lovingly upon one another, the clean, seemingly chaos-free homes.
That wasn’t the case for us, and I doubt many caregiving families could relate to a situation that doesn’t involve bodily fluids, mystery smells, and stains of undetermined origin. This post lists several reasons elderly people lose momentum in the hygiene department, including depression, control (definitely a factor for us), and the fact that their senses have dimmed so much that they may not see or smell their deteriorating physical state.
(That’s why I always include hand sanitizer in the appreciation tokens — we should own stock we went through so much of it.)
Caregiving is Important, Minimally Rewarded Work
According to GoodTherapy.org, “Thirty-five percent of caregivers find it difficult to make time for themselves, while 29% have trouble managing stress, and another 29% report difficulty balancing work and family issues.”
One small token of appreciation can’t reverse the challenges created by caregiving, BUT it can remind the people doing this important work that they are not forgotten, and that their needs are recognized.
And since I like keeping it real, let’s throw in one more toilet reference. When I was looking for a great quote with which to end this post, I found (ta-da!) a rising toilet seat. It is not only elevated (we had that) BUT it has little (okay, maybe not so little — they say they handle up to 450 pounds) “lifters” that help the elderly person get up from the toilet without a human caregiver helping them. It’s one “uplifting” item in their world that quite literally DOES lift them up.
Giving these Thanksgiving tokens is a little bit like that — a small lift that lightens one small fragment of a caregiver’s day.
If You Want to Help
I got a late start this year (and I don’t have caregiving to blame!), so I am still finalizing a few details regarding how many caregivers there will be this year, but I’m working from an assumption of “50” and I’ll come in and update as things get refined.
Here’s what I hope to include:
A Sharpie (the participants at adult day stay mark their belongings with Sharpie).
Hand sanitizer (remember the “messy” paragraph above?)
A candy bar (everyone deserves a treat!)
If you’re local and can help, let me know. If you’re not local, and want to contribute, feel free to send donations via Paypal to opuswsk @ aol.com with the notation “Thanksgiving 2017.”
I invite you to help me be part of the “little cheering section” for a deserving group of caregivers.
I am linking this post up to Mama’s Losin’ It this week — for the prompt “Write a blog post inspired by the word: messy.” (Also – pro tip – if you’re a cat lover, visit Kat’s post about her foster kittens. So cute!)
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
I love this and I’m sending it to a friend as well as sharing on social media. My favorite piece of it is the simple phrase: caregiving is messy <3
Yes! Exactly! I really should do a blog post ONLY about that. With disclaimers. And wet wipes. Yuck. :-/
Great list. Yes along with tastes and smells is hearing loss and eyesight. My Mother’s favorite color was green. As she aged it became purple as her eyesight changing not really in vision but in colors and depth perception. I
Oh how interesting (about the color perception) — and it must have been quite vexing for all of you. You are right about the hearing too — although we swore *occasionally* that Dad had selective hearing. You could say the word “beer” from across the house and he would hear you vs “time for a shower” right by him and no go LOL.
Paula – I also wrote a post for National Caregivers Month and included some different things in my gift basket. But I did include chocolate. We could all use a little chocolate!
Right? The first year I did this project, I considered doing something healthier (granola bars maybe?) but I was standing there in the store, pondering, and thought — heck no! the point is that caregivers deserve TREATS. It’s been chocolate ever since. Our local AARP is being kind enough to donate chocolate bars and hand sanitizer for the second year in a row. I am so grateful! 🙂