4 Good Luck Foods to Welcome 2017

There are not that many things I am superstitious about. The superstitions I do hold, however, maintain a powerful grip on me, and although my outward observance of them may be shrouded in me saying “what could it hurt to [insert fulfillment of superstition here]”? but my inner self is screaming “please please let this one be more than a superstition!”.

The traditional southern New Year’s Day meal, for example. Today I will travel to my hometown to share the traditional New Year’s foods. When I haven’t been able to go to Lake Butler, I’ve always visited a local restaurant for the necessary “good luck foods.”

A Traditional Southern Good Luck Meal

Although I’ve read that the tradition is pork, black eyed peas, and greens, the pork part has always been sort of an optional part of the good luck triad for me.

But let’s give it its due.

PORK

Here’s Southern Living’s take on the role of pork:

The more pork and ham in your meal, the more luck you will have. Because of the amount of fat in pork, it is a symbol of wealth and prosperity. Some people also say that because a pig uses its snout to dig in the ground while moving forward, eating pork on New Year’s signifies progress and moving forward. So don’t just use ham hock and fatback to flavor your veggies; eat a baked ham or pork chops as a main dish.

My parents have always insisted on seasoning the New Year’s greens with pork (hog jowl to be specific) but having pork as the meat has never felt that critical to me.

Moving forward, though, sounds like an intention I can definitely embrace, so my snout is now engaged with this idea!

GREENS

I did not appreciate greens (turnips, collards, etc.) as a kid. I really started to like them during my teenage eating disorder phase, when anything with minimal calories was attractive because it was something I could put in my mouth (this was also my tab and carrots phase …).

Once I started liking greens, I really liked greens. That affinity has lasted long beyond the point at which I was looking for zero calorie foods.

I think one component of my love for greens is understanding how much work they involve. It takes a LOT of greens to turn into a yummy bowl of greens deliciousness. They have to be picked, washed, prepped. It’s a process. I’ve seen my mom do it countless times — I’ve heard her excitement when she mentioned how a relative unexpectedly left a bag of greens at the front door. Greens are affection in the south, and a delicious affection it is (especially if you add hot sauce — the kind where peppers have soaked in vinegar). YUM.

Anyway, what greens are supposed to represent is prosperity (green, like money…). The truest prosperity representative is apparently cabbage, but all the southerners I know do collards. This piece describes the cabbage/collards evolution in detail.

I’ve been alive 52 years and can’t say I’ve ever had a positive financial development and said this must be because I ate greens on January 1 but I’m all for giving fate any assist it needs in bringing more monetary green into my life!

BLACK-EYED PEAS

Black-eyed peas are a must for New Year’s Day as well. As this article explains, black-eyed peas represent coins whereas greens represent paper money.

Black-eyed peas also take me back to so many hours spent on the porch of my maternal grandparents, shelling peas. Back then, I didn’t see the point, but a lot more was exposed than delicious peas as we sat around freeing the peas from their hulls. It was a time for telling stories, intergenerationally. Shelling the peas also gave us an appreciation for the work that goes into the food we eat.

CORNBREAD

The more I read articles about traditional southern New Year’s food, the more I knew I needed to include cornbread. However, cornbread doesn’t touch a sentimental or superstitious cord for me.

Apparently, cornbread represents gold.

Therefore, why have I been ignoring you, cornbread? Welcome to my New Year’s Day plate!

Financial Prosperity is Great, But Emotional and Health Prosperity is Even Better

I would love for the pork, the greens, the collards, and the cornbread to transform themselves into more income and less debt for 2017. We are facing big decisions as my 403B dwindles, another child graduates from high school, and my father in law’s health declines.

But honestly, I crave continued abundance in the quality of friendships I am lucky to have. I would love to see the people I care about be free of cancer, chronic health issues, and mental health challenges that no amount of money will fix. I want to be rich in courage: the courage to more confidently state what I need, in my marriage, in my professional life, to my own deepest self.

I suppose the start of all of that begins when I pick up my fork at lunch tomorrow … and dig into that pork, those greens, the black-eyed peas, and the cornbread.

What could it hurt to try?

Holiday Traditions

New Year’s Day 2016 – New Times Country Buffet

Christmas 2016

As I was addressing Christmas cards this year I was laughing at my younger self.

At how I would coordinate every piece of the process: the photo session at a studio, the card design itself, a special sharpie to sign the cards with (one year was all silvers and blues), holiday stamps that matched the theme, return address labels which coordinated with everything else, a special little note pad I could use to add a personal note, and even little coordinating seals to put over the envelope flaps.

This is not that year. My return address labels have only my name (and “The Big Green Pen”); the stamps were a mixture — some happened to be holiday stamps; others were generic. I did use a green pen to address them with (that was a no-brainer). But in no way was this year’s effort the coordinated, expensive, meticulous equivalent of years past.

I suppose in my progression from perfectionist to realist there is an allegory for life itself.

I just know I am grateful for this gift of family, imperfections and all.

Christmas 2016

I am also grateful for those of you who have read my blog, commented, shared, and encouraged me, whether you have been with me since 2009, are just reading me for the first time, or something in between. Looking forward to a perspicacious 2017!

Six Lessons From Six Years

When I read “Six Lessons Learned From Six Years of Life,” part of a tribute Aaron Sherinian paid to Rakan Stormer back in October, it moved me in its profound simplicity.

Rakan was born on April 20, 2010, and died in September 2016 from a Wilms Tumor, a rare pediatric cancer that currently has no cure. (Several of the children who have I Run for Michael buddies have Wilms Tumors and their families help inform those of us in the group about this disease.) Rakan’s mom is part of the incredible United Nations Foundation communications team, so I knew of Rakan because of my affiliation with Shot at Life, a UN Foundation program.

These lessons are timeless, compact thought packets to tuck away for those times when you feel like you may be losing your way.

Six Lessons Learned from Six Years of Life

Life is great when you are accompanied by that person you look for first thing in the morning, the person who you know and who knows you best. If that person is your big brother, even better.

Even little people have the power to do hard things.

Embrace your many heritages. They are what make you- and us- who we are.

It feels great to help people, and to be helped by loving friends, family and community. We all need each other.

Great things come in small packages, sometimes with giant, light-up-the-world smiles. Like Minions.

Our work here is unfinished. We are all still writing the pages in Rakan Stormer’s life.

~ Aaron Sherinian

Pediatric Cancer

Write a Page in Rakan’s Book

You don’t have to have known Rakan to help fill the pages of his life that are still to be written. Here are a few ways to help:

Follow his website here.

Make a contribution to support Wilms tumor research at the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders at Children’s National in Rakan’s name.

Register to become a marrow donor through this link, which tracks people who got matched in memory of Rakan.

Pediatric Cancer

As Aaron said in his tribute, little people do have the power to do hard things. Whether you are “big” or “little,” let these six lessons from six years empower you to make a difference today.

Photos Courtesy of Zain Habboo, Rakan’s mom.

More Fitness, Less Sodium, More Health

I am 52 now, so I have been through my share of exercise plans, food management programs, and lifestyle modification efforts. Some were “one-hit wonders” that weren’t actually so wonderful (anyone remember Tab? Take it from me: a Tab and carrots meal plan is not much of a meal plan).

I am happy to have been invited to share a guest post at the American Heart Association #BreakUpWithSalt initiative. There are so many interesting posts there from my fellow #BreakUpWithSalt bloggers, such as Mary Makes Good’s post about discovering a low sodium diet and Working Daughter’s 6 Ways to Lower Sodium for Caregivers and Parents.

My post is about my personal journey as I navigated the territory of caregiving and came to terms with the fact that caregiving can have destructive effects on the health of caregivers. I explore the role too much sodium may be playing in my health challenges.

To read the other guest posts and explore resources to manage your sodium intake and improve your cardiac health,, please visit the #BreakUpWithSalt sodium reduction initiative page.

Cardiac Health

Photo Credit: Morguefile

Note: I was compensated for my post which will appear on the American Heart Association Sodium Breakup website. All opinions (especially the one about Tab and carrots) are my own.

My Caregiver Wish List

This year, my children’s Christmas lists were, like my children, very different from each other. My daughter’s list was detailed, with a key explaining which items needed to be ordered online and which could be purchased in town. She started the list with a lovely statement about her gratitude to us as parents and helpfully provided direct links to products to save me time (and make sure I ordered the right thing).

My son? I’m still waiting for any kind of list. There have been a few verbal requests, and he has put two items in my Amazon cart, but that’s it.

Caregiving Challenges

Me? If I were to get an opportunity to tell Santa what I really want, my request would probably focus on what I really need as a caregiver:

A Game Plan

When dad moved in with us at the end of May 2014, everything happened rapidly. He had been living by himself (with significant help from us in the form of multiple visits daily to ensure medication compliance, etc.), he sustained a subdural hematoma from a fall and Wayne felt it was critical for him to live with us. He threatened to sign himself out of the rehab hospital, and next thing we knew it he was living with us.

Santa, it’s a little late for us, but if you run across any families who may be on the verge of taking on the task of caregiving, tell them to pour some hot cocoa and get on the same page. They won’t regret it. Caregiving works best when it is a joint family decision, not a situation you back into by necessity.

A Housekeeper

As I have written about here, and as anyone who steps foot in my house knows, housekeeping is not my forte. I am not proud of this, and am always trying to improve, but it doesn’t get any easier when you add the component of an elderly relative with self care challenges. In addition, we are almost always home; the wear and tear on the house is brutal.

If you really want to delight me, Santa, tuck a housekeeper or two in that sleigh and deploy them weekly (or even monthly), at least to the one bathroom in the house none of us can bear to go into anymore.

An Elf Who Specializes in Home Mobility Adaptations

There are so many of our home components that need to be adapted for Dad to be safer (and us to have more peace of mind): the toilet seat needs to be raised, the throw rugs need to be removed (because they are tripping hazards), there need to be grab bars multiple places in the bathroom. We need a shower chair. Some of these things are easy to do (and affordable enough). Some are “bigger” modifications. But they all take time and planning.

Santa, a grab bar may not be very festive but the prospect of peace of mind from less worry of falls is pretty darn merry.

A Train of Thought

While a trip on the Polar Express sounds charming, what I really need this year is for my own personal train of thought to make it from the home station to the destination depot without multiple unplanned detours along the way. Without a sprint to the bathroom when I hear the sounds I’ve come to know as impending instability. Without a request to turn the tv up (again).

Santa, all I want for Christmas is to to be able to remember where I put the ………

The Ability to Go to the Bathroom Worry-Free

You know how infants always seem to get fussy when you sit down to eat? There’s a similar principle with the elderly: close the bathroom door to do your business and the “get up too fast/get dizzy/find yourself at risk of falling” cycle activates. It’s UNCANNY. I’m not sure what the cumulative effects are of always being worried, but I know they aren’t health boosters.

Four minutes, Santa. Four. Worry. Free. Minutes so I don’t have to ho ho hold it.

Infinite Copies of the Meds List

I have written the Dad’s meds list by hand approximately 2,435 times in 2.5 years. Okay, maybe not that many but it feels like it! I do know that there are apps for this kind of thing, but I haven’t started using one yet. You would think, in this era of Electronic Health Information, that this would all be in the cloud. Right? I can attest that the last thing on your mind when you arrive at the ER after a fall is having a hard copy of the meds list.

In addition to these infinite meds list copies, Santa, they need to magically revise themselves when something changes. While we’re at it, this magical nothing-critical-is-ever-forgotten world will also make his insurance cards, social security card, and ID card magically appear when needed, rather than being at home where they are not helping anyone.

A Visit by the Mobile DMV

Spoiler: There isn’t a mobile DMV. But this is my list and Santa’s my benevolent all-giving fantasy guy right now so let me go with it. It didn’t seem like a big deal when Dad’s driver’s license expired, but then there was the document we needed to have notarized, with an ID for proof of identity, there was voting (he voted absentee but in general, it could have been requested at the polls), and there will be other life events.

Santa, if there isn’t a mobile DMV, can you and the elves come over and help with the arduous process of getting him dressed, to the car safely, out of the car at the DMV, tolerating the line, understanding the instructions he is being given in order to have a valid State of Florida ID. Please?

Unlimited Legal Assistance

Growing old, even if your life is relatively uncomplicated, brings with it the need to get legal affairs in order. Power of attorney, a medical representative, DNR orders (if you choose to have a DNR order), a will, and a host of other legal matters that need to be put in place. That doesn’t happen for free, and it is not always straightforward.

Santa, I imagine in today’s litigious society your attorneys may be busy putting warning labels on toys and all, but aren’t they free about ten months out of the year? Could they help a caregiver out? (And while we’re at it, an accountant as a stocking stuffer would be a plus.)

More Health Professionals Who Care About The Family

As I mentioned in this post, Dr. Daniel Bower, an oral surgeon who saw dad when he had a dental emergency, is the only dentist, doctor, nurse, or other health professional in the past 2.5 years who has looked at Wayne and me and said, “and how are you doing?” It’s not that we would have flooded him with the whole story or a litany of our challenges, but honestly the fact that he acknowledged that caregiving is hard on the family was big. 

While I could cite statistic after statistic confirming that caregivers experience stress, I know you have toys to make and flight plans to file, Santa. Just remind medical professionals to take a moment for empathy with caregiving families, okay?

Agencies and People Who Tell it Like it Is

One of the biggest frustrations of caregiving is the fact that well-meaning people tell you things that end up not being true or relevant to your situation. Relatively early on, someone with a home health care agency recommended another agency that, according to them, “will help you fill out the Aid in Attendance paperwork and file it — it’s just something they do.”

While the agency did help us with the paper work (which was denied after a months-long wait), when we eventually ended up at the Leon County Veterans’ Affairs Office, they said “why didn’t you come to us first?” We didn’t know to do that. The original agency we were referred to does help families fill out the paperwork, but judging by all the emails we still get from them offering to “manage our wealth,” it’s clear they had an ulterior motive.

I could give other examples but they are all the same essential model: someone tells you something they think will be helpful and you end up chasing your tail.

It also takes a lot of digging to find some incredible (and often free or low-cost) resources. We finally got hooked up with the free in-home respite from the Alzheimers Project here in Tallahassee, which uses Americorps volunteers.

Okay Santa, this is a lot to ask but we could sure use more “nice” information givers (who give the right info) than “naughty” (who mean well but send us down the wrong path). Our family’s bottom line and peace of mind are riding on this.

Patience

Dad’s cognitive issues are minor in comparison to others I’ve heard about. I know I have high expectations of myself, but I am saddened, often, about the fact that I find patience in short supply. It’s not his fault I didn’t plan ahead to be prepared to leave for a doctor’s appointment, not his fault that whatever happened in his brain stole his empathy, that it doesn’t do any good to say, “If I could just send out these four tweets, I can answer your question.”

I want patience, Santa, and I want it now! 

Grace for the Big Moments

The last 2.5 years have had their hurdles: the dental emergency, the head and neck cancer diagnosis with the related 35 radiation visits, 53 hours without electricity (or tv, his one constant) during the Hurricane Hermine aftermath.

The medical parts of Dad’s situation have compromised his privacy and eroded his dignity. More than the physical procedures, I will come away from this period of caregiving with a few significant moments embedded in my brain. I’m grateful for medical professionals who undoubtedly studied for years and learned complicated math, science, and anatomy, but for whom the real test is looking someone in the eyes who may or may not completely understand and saying, “this may be cancer. This could be very threatening to your survival.” Dr. Philip Sharp and Dr. Joseph Soto have both passed that test with flying colors.

I know you can’t take away those life altering moments, Santa, and I know that it is a privilege and duty curated out of love to be present for them. While hoping for a season of magic for children worldwide, I also ask for an extra helping of grace to be the caregiver Dad deserves.

Caregiving Challenges

Snail Mail Treasures

If my inner monologue on the way to the mailbox every day were to be visible to anyone else but me, it would look something like this:

Mail Gifts

Cards Are Fun Snail Mail

When I went to the Type A East conference in Orlando in October, I met the Hallmark Signature team. The team introduced us to the Hallmark Signature line and treated us to a preview of their new commercial – I dare you to watch it and not cry!. The Hallmark Signature line showcases unique processes, detailed craftsmanship and attention-grabbing dimensions. By unique, I mean things like: this card RINGS. It has a bunch of little bells that RING!

Snail Mail is Not Just For Christmas

I’ve shared before how my friend Kathleen is pretty much the last “snail mail only” person in my universe. A mail day that involves a  missive from Kathleen is reason to celebrate, indeed.

That’s why, when the Hallmark signature team encouraged me to choose a card to send to someone special while I was at their booth during the conference, I chose one for Kathleen (besides, since she is “snail mail only,” her address is burned into my brain and was the easiest to remember!).

Hallmark encouraged us to share via video why we had chosen to send our intended recipients a card (glad I have all that practice with Table Topics in Toastmasters speaking extemporaneously!). Click here for mine.

When Unexpected Snail Mail Comes to Roost

In addition to the fun of cards and letters, can you imagine anything more delightful than an unexpected package full of treats? That’s exactly what I found when this Roost Crate showed up on my doorstep.

I got to know Roost Crate’s proprietor, Kelly Pugliano, when we attended a Shot at Life summit together. Then I had the pleasure of watching her work hard to build this business, which creates a “farmer’s market in a box,” concentrating on the best farmers and small batch artisans in the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic states.

Here’s a picture of contents of the welcome box I received:

Mail Gifts

And a rundown of the artisans:

    • The brown sugar fig soy wax candle is from Berry & Birch, a 2-woman team from Springfield, MO, which produces eco- and animal-friendly soy candles “handpoured with love.”
    • The lemon lime lip balm is from T&J Soaps, an artisan soap maker in Troy, NY, who packages the lip balm in vintage slider tins.
    • The oatmeal, milk and  honey goat milk soap is from OMy! Goat Milk Bath and Body, a Virginia Beach, VA, company that makes all-natural products with fresh goat milk. (And while we’re talking goat milk products, allow me to plug another incredible goat milk product, Kid Power Organics, which uses its profits to help children in Cambodia. Meet their goats and learn about their goat bank here.)
    • The chocolate bar is from Barkeater Chocolates, which handcrafts non-GMO and gluten free chocolates in the Adirondacks. (Who’s up for a tasting tour?!)
    • The rhubarb vanilla honey jam is from V Smiley Preserves, a New Haven, VT, artisan who makes small batch handmade jams and preserves and has a vision to “expand the farm into an agri-cultural hub; seed-saving, arts, education, dining and events.” I’m rooting for her to succeed.

Mail Gifts

  • The beautiful handcrafted coasters (thanks for throwing in this extra, Kelly!) are from Oh, Sew Urban! They are available at the Anchor No. 5 Boutique in Troy, NY and can be reached by email at eaurban@gmail.com.
  • The deluxe canvas tote bag is sold directly by Roost Crate, is machine washable, and will be put to use by me year-round.

If you want a bounty of Roost Crate deliciousness to show up on your door (or to gift one to someone who deserves an artisanal sensation for the senses), visit Roost Crate by clicking here. Order by December 15 for holiday delivery, and use the code GIFT10 for 10% off.

Here’s a sneak peek of the next Roost Crate, which features an Adirondack Soy Candle as part of the goodness:

Mail Gifts

NOTE: I also think it rocks big time that Roost Crate donates 10% of its proceeds to Capital Roots, which works to reduce the impact of poor nutrition on public health in New York’s Capital Region.

Your Chance at Snail Mail Happiness

Because every non-bill, non-junk piece of snail mail brings me such joy, I want to spread the fun around with a giveaway.

The Hallmark Signature Team provided a gift pack of three beautiful signature cards (including the one with the little bells!!), and I am sharing forward the lovely Oh, Sew Urban! coasters. Of course a green pen will be included too!

Mail Gifts

Enter here:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Is there someone in your life who would be cheered up by a piece of snail mail? Why not resolve to drop them a line today?

Mail Gifts

Image Credit: JDurham/Morguefile

NOTE: Hallmark Signature provided the cards for the giveaway, and Roostcrate gave me the welcome crate, from which I am delighted to share the awesome coasters.

Grateful Challenge 2016

Note: This post contains affiliate links. I will receive compensation for books you purchase through these links. 

Personal Gratitude

For the fourth consecutive year, Gini Dietrich and Spin Sucks have hosted the Grateful Challenge. While the base model is “try to write down everything you’re grateful for and get to 99 items in ten minutes” (as I did in 2014 and 2015), Gini’s 2016 version deviated a bit from that plan and so will mine (I mean, come ON, has 2016 complied with “predictable” in any way whatsoever?). While it will be utterly impossible for me to top Gini’s #10, gratitude is not a competition and I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect on (and share) the places, people, values, and experiences that made the year unique.

Note, the only way this list resembles the “write down as many things as you can in 10 minutes” model in any way is the fact that they are not in any particular order. These are the fifteen items that came to mind, in the order they popped into my head.

My Impromptu Trip to NYC in June

I knew that my friend Mary Jane, with whom I did the 2015 New York City Half Marathon for Team in Training, planned to do the NYC 10K Mini in June 2016, but never planned to join. I had my sights set on doing a Disney race with her in early January 2017.

Less than a week before the 10K Mini, I learned that she would not be doing the Disney race in 2017 because she would be undergoing a stem cell transplant related to her Multiple Myeloma iin Fall 2016. Five days before the 10K race, when we were messaging each other, she said, “come do the 10K. You have a place to stay.” Long story short, I bought a plane ticket, finished up all my work for Weaving Influence, registered for the race,and …….. became an unofficial part of Mary Jane’s team at the New York Mini on June 11.

Any day in NYC is a happy day for me. So grateful that my family made the sacrifice financially for me to fly to NYC on virtually zero notice, that Mary Jane and her family welcomed me with open arms, and that I had an unexpected four days in my happy place. It truly did make me happy. So happy.

Personal Gratitude

Mary Jane, Me, Mary Miner (we all worked together at Fordham University)

Our Michigan Trip in July

My husband, Wayne, had a class reunion in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in July. He and my son drove to Michigan, with stops along the way at places like the Corvette Factory in Bowling Green, Kentucky, Chicago, and Upstate Michigan. I got my father-in-law settled in respite care at an assisted living facility for eight days and flew up to meet them for part of the trip.

I *love* traveling and enjoyed this opportunity to reconnect with family and friends in Michigan, to be part of the class reunion, to take in a Tigers game, and to visit Greenfield Village in Detroit.

As grateful as I am for the travel, having my father-in-law completely dealt with by someone else for eight days was also BIG. I swear as much as I loved the travel, I loved having 24 hours in the house to myself and being able to get all the carpets cleaned before I picked him up. 

Personal Gratitude

At a Tigers Game on 7/17/16.

Journey to Mars NASA Social

On August 17 and 18, I participated in a NASA Social in New Orleans and Mississippi. The social was all about the Journey to Mars. This was my third NASA Social and my first to take place at a space center besides Kennedy Space Center. I loved learning about a new (to me) space center and who doesn’t love an opportunity to go to New Orleans?

So many things about this trip were highlights. The learning about NASA was excellent (including seeing a test firing of one of the engines that will be part of powering the journey to Mars), the food was fantastic, and the opportunity to reunite with my best friend from childhood was such a treat for my heart!

Personal Gratitude

Soooo grateful to spend time with Paula!

Personal Gratitude

At the Aerojet Rocketdyne Facility with one of the engines to be used to propel the Journey to Mars.

Personal Gratitude

Jonathan had never had beignets before (!) so we had to remedy that.

I’m grateful for New Orleans, a city that has overcome so much, for the friends and food there, and for the fact that NASA and its contractors put really big components together there so I had an opportunity to go!!

Harry Was Wrong

Maybe if I was a guy writing this …. I wouldn’t write this. But I believe Harry was wrong when he told Sally men can’t be friends with women because they only have one thing on their mind. It takes respect and discipline to be friends when life could have taken two people other places, but who better to have as a friend than someone who had chosen to respect your choices and still share generously in the journey of life?

Personal Gratitude

My friend and I shared a day visiting my childhood home and elementary school in January.

I’m grateful for another year of a friendship that proves Harry wrong. 

Family, Together

It seemed like time flew between my niece Jessica’s announcement that she and Eric were engaged and the day we were scurrying around, with two men in the house trying to figure out tuxedo pieces, and Tenley and me doing hair and makeup as we prepared to step into long dresses (while getting my father-in-law into a suit). But November 12, 2016 dawned sunny and perfect, and although I can’t say “perfect” often describes the ins and outs that are part of being a family, for a few moments in that day, we were reminded that more often than not we continue to make an effort to be perfectly united.

Personal Gratitude

I am grateful for Wayne (husband), Tenley, and Wayne (son) (and Wayne (father-in-law)).

Flexible Work

Because someone has to be home with my father-in-law, I am grateful that I have flexible work which contributes to the family bottom line. It’s not just the fact that it’s flexible work, though, it’s the fact that Weaving Influence has core values (of which flexibility is one) and strives to live those values daily.

Personal Gratitude

With Whitney Heins, Becky Robinson, Jennifer Kahnweiler, Christy Kirk, and Kylah Frazier, Weaving Influence Team Members and Supporter. July 2016

I am grateful to be able to work and provide care for my father-in-law simultaneously.

Girl Scout Cookies, Friendship, and Advocacy (Not in that Order)

I have been involved with Shot at Life since 2013, and in addition to the rewarding work of advocacy on behalf of children around the world who are vulnerable to vaccine-preventable diseases, I have made the most wonderful friends.

I also may or may not have been part of a scheme to hide girl scout cookies behind a dumpster at the US Capitol when security would not allow us to bring them in. I won’t say more, but just know there are girl scout cookies being consumed in the picture below and this picture was taken AFTER the Capitol Contraband Cookie Caper.

Personal Gratitude

I am grateful to know smart, caring women (and men) who are doing their part to make the world a better place. I am, of course, grateful for Thin Mints but I figure that goes without saying!

Stumbling Blocks on Fitness Road

Wow, was I ever optimistic way back in 2015 when I thought I could keep running, albeit more slowly, as long as I took my beta blockers before I ran. Without looking it up, I can’t tell you what day I stopped running (for now) but having to be taken back to the finish line of a recent 5K by a golf cart instead of my own two feet was a decision point for me.

Personal Gratitude

At the Stop the Violence 5K, BEFORE the race. Turns out Harper (the dog) and I each had our own struggles that day.

Still, I am grateful for the running community, that medical science (hopefully) will continue to find new answers to challenges like mine, and for the young man I run (walk) for, Gareth, who motivates me to keep moving.  

Reading

I love reading and have enjoyed some fantastic books this year. It would take an entire blog post to discuss favorites but I’ll chose two. A book I enjoyed on paper was The Wright Brothers by David McCullough. I was motivated to pick it up because I was at the Detroit Airport, needed something to read, and had just seen the Wright Brothers home and shop when I had visited Deerfield Village.

On audio, it’s so difficult to choose. I need to give a shout out to Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. Of all the books I have read this year, it’s among the top five at motivating and encouraging me.

Personal Gratitude

I am grateful for reading, for its power to unlock my imagination and ignite my spirit. 

My Parents

My parents have gotten the short end of the gratitude stick from me many times over the decades, but they have responded with grace and generosity. I am beyond appreciative.

I don’t have a picture of the three of us together from this year to share, but I am grateful.

Blogging

Oh blogging, how has it been seven years already? I pulled up a post from 2009 today and flinched a little bit seeing the long unbroken paragraphs, the image I may have pulled off of Google images (that I replaced!), the lack of a meta description, and other signs that I really didn’t know what I was doing back then (not that I know now!). But blogging has given me such a fertile outlet, has connected me to so many incredible people, and has provided opportunities to earn additional income. Thanks, blogging.

I am grateful for blogging, and especially grateful to everyone who reads my blog, comments on it, and shares.

Toastmasters

It has been a fun year at Toastmasters, and I am happy to have closed it out with an opportunity to compete in the District Evaluation Contest and the District Humorous Speech Contest. Coming in 2nd in the evaluation contest was a welcome surprise. Not placing in the humorous speech contest was a humbling experience that inspired me to keep on trying. Now life needs to hand me something hilarious to discuss! (I should probably be careful what I ask for).

Personal Gratitude

I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about speaking, evaluating, and running meetings from Toastmasters.

Eldercare

Eldercare is not easy. I imagine when the perspective is reversed, being the elder isn’t a walk in the park either. I have no rosy “this situation is teaching me lessons I need” kind of takeaway here (although I do believe that is true). But dad is our patriarch on the Kiger side and I am glad to be able to do my part.

I am grateful that despite the many challenges, we have so far figured out a way to care for dad at home and (hopefully) provide him a place where he knows he is cared for.

Interacting With the Most Incredible People

So many people come to mind who are on my “grateful list” for this year. Many of them ended up in my life through blogging, advocacy, or both. I have to conduct phone calls wherever I can since the main tv in our house is usually on VERY LOUD TENNIS, and I will not soon forget sitting on the floor of my bedroom. a couple of sheets of paper in my hand, talking to Mark S. King for our collaboration on a CDC-related blog about encouraging people to get tested for HIV.

It’s too long of a story for this blog, but I believe it is possible that Representative Gwen Graham would go to Costco with me, as we discussed when we met about Shot at Life. I may have been in an office in Washington, D.C., but it felt very much like I was on a front porch in North Florida. She has a gift.

Personal Gratitude

Visiting Rep. Gwen Graham in Washington, DC

Be open to meeting new people and hearing their stories; you will be grateful for what you learn.

Silence

I know ….. silence? I think often of the silent retreat I did in March. It was only six hours but those six hours were probably my longest unplugged period in a while. It was a different experience, one which made me question whether or not I really want to do a multi-day silent retreat somewhere (I do…), but it was a reminder that it’s easy to give in to the world’s distractions and lose touch with the places, people, values, and experiences that really matter.

Personal Gratitude

For the highlights of 2016 I’ve mentioned here, and for the ability to gather more moments in the year to come, I am grateful. 

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All About Audiobooks

Note: This post contains affiliate links to some of the products mentioned. If you purchase a book through that link, I will receive compensation.

The first time I really remember adding audiobooks to my listening habits was years ago (I think it was 2005) when I was returning from dropping Tenley off at gymnastics camp in Athens, GA. Back then, it was not uncommon for me to listen to audiobooks on cassette. Over the eleven years since then, I’ve migrated from listening on CD, to listening to them on my old iPod, to finally listening to them through the Audible App on my phone. There’s usually still a cassette involved, as I use an adapter to send the sound through my car’s audio. (Right now I have a rental which routes it through a USB and I feel all techie when that happens!). The first book I prominently remember reading via audio was Life of Pi. I’ve lost count of how many there have been since then. Hundreds?

Audiobooks Are Big Business

Just how “big” are they?

According to the Pew Research Center, 14% of Americans have read an audiobook in the past year.

The Wall Street Journal says audiobooks are the “fastest-growing format in the book business today,” citing the Audio Publishers Association as stating “sales in the U.S. and Canada jumped 21% in 2015 from the previous year.” I can say I’m certainly doing my part to make that true.

For more on the history of audiobooks, this On Point show is really interesting.

That Voice In My EarAudiobook Readers

This post is partially inspired by a conversation I was having with other reading fanatics. Some of us had read Everything We Keep by Kerry Lonsdale in a traditional format, and I had read it via audiobook. I had shared how much I loved narrator Amy Landon’s voice, how I liked it so much I could listen to her read the phone book. That led to a discussion of other narrators we love (or don’t love….).

Another of my favorites is Cassandra Campbell. She has narrated many notable audiobooks, including being part of the ensemble narrating The Help, but it was her narration of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks that really blew me away. Just the way she said “culture” (which is said OFTEN in that book) was worthy of “I could listen to her read the phone book” status.

I also typically enjoy it when authors read their own memoirs. Memorable books in this category include Between Breaths by Elizabeth Vargas, The Diva Rules by Michelle Visage (visit my blogs about this book here and here), Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, Troublemaker by Leah Remini, and Born With Teeth by Kate Mulgrew.

I also credit Jenna Bush Hager’s reading of Ana’s Story: A Journey of Hope with giving me a deeper picture of her as an individual, and by extension, her family. She has some VERY particular pronunciations of things (like saying “buddon” instead of “button” but for that one book it worked).

Narrating an audiobook is a skill (and art), for sure, as demonstrated here by Amy Landon:

What Is It About Voices?

Since I don’t plan (right now) to post about it separately, allow me to take a slight detour on the topic of voices in general.

I wonder what it is about voices that lead us to conclude they are “pleasant” or “unpleasant.” As audiobook readers who frequently pay discretionary income for books (there are some sources of free audiobooks out there I must mention), we certainly have a right to voice our preferences.

For my mother-in-law, who was blind, and listened to many of her books as voiced through the impersonal generic narration of the books on tape she received from a talking books service for the visually impaired, I’m pretty sure she would have agreed that variety is GOOD (as technology improved, she was able to listen to audiobooks with a variety of narrators. I really regret that she didn’t live long enough to take advantage of easily clicking on a book she really loved, with narration she also really loved. She was so close with the ownership of an iPhone. SO. CLOSE.)

It’s quite impossible for me to write about voices, though, without thinking about NPR’s underwriting-credit announcer challenges. I have to admit I can’t remember what Frank Tavares, who did it for years, sounded like, but I vividly remember the uproar when Sabrina Farhi took over and illuminated vocal fry’s moment in the spotlight. I’ve always felt a little sorry for her, even though I, too, was not a huge fan. I never criticized her via social media, but I certainly sent her successor, Jessica Hansen, a congratulatory note praising her work. Jessica Hansen has another voice I love.

Is it Reading or Listening?

I’ve often heard the debate: is consumption of an audiobook reading or listening?

That’s easy: IT IS READING.

Although I feel strongly that it is reading, I can understand why book lovers ask if consuming an audiobook is “really reading.” Forbes takes a stab at answering the question here, asserting that “reading and listening are strikingly similar cognitive processes.” (It’s a fascinating article; I encourage you to click through and read it.)

While I am somewhat alarmed at my diminishing focus on reading paper books, I cling to the idea that listening is still reading. Audiobooks have kept me in love with reading and expanded my exposure to ideas, people, and concepts while pushing my imagination to new horizons.

To that, I say, turn the page; click the button for the next chapter. Whatever you do, JUST KEEP READING.

Audiobook Readers

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Heart on the Run

It’s my heart that’s on the run. Unfortunately, my heart is an overachiever when it comes to being fast, and that’s creating a problem.

I don’t know when my trek down tachycardia trail really started, but data-wise the first time I noted a high heart rate in my workout log was February 16, 2013, when I wrote off the much-higher-than-usual high heart rate I experienced in the last mile of the Flash 12K as a fluke.

Cardiac Issues

Though the ensuing episodes of high heart rate, the cardiologist visit (when I was initially cleared), the blog post about the 2014 Turkey Trot (after which Shannon Sullivan, Mary Jean Yon, and David Yon insisted I seek other answers), the electrophysiologist visit, the implantable loop recorder, the electrophysiology study, and the year of attempting to manage my symptoms with a beta blocker (because an ablation was contraindicated), I kept identifying myself as a runner, kept saying, “it’s a pain but as long as it’s confined to my running,” I just need to make adjustments.

It was when I was “just” walking a 5K on October 2 that I hit a physical and emotional wall on this trail, and I haven’t figured out a way around it.

Cardiac Issues

At the Stop the Violence 5K, BEFORE the race. Turns out Harper (the dog) and I each had our own struggles that day.

Besides the actual facts of what occurred over the hour which changed everything for me, my hesitancy to ask for help makes me want to kick myself in my OWN butt. I had not taken a beta blocker before the race because I’ve never needed one in a “walk” situation before. When my HR goes up precipitously, it does so with no warning. When it happened that day, I tried to stay calm, continuing to walk and do vagal maneuvers. I was passed by one couple who said “do you need help? And made some reference to one of them being qualified to help if I was having a problem.” Turned them down. I sat down on the curb (side note: I hate sitting down during races. I especially hate sitting down within sight of the finish line.)

I decided to walk back to the start area instead of trying to finish the 3.1 mile route. I walked past a man washing his car and made light conversation about his dog who was barking from the window rather than explaining I may be having a health issue. I was in a neighborhood where I know several people who probably would have come to help me if I had asked. During the attempt to walk back to the start area, my HR increased to an unhealthy rate again. I sat down on the curb, again. Throughout, I was texting my husband, explaining what was going on. I needed someone to be in the know.

I was participating in the race as part of a team, but I didn’t have anyone’s cell phone numbers I took my smartphone out and sent a message to the team’s event page on Facebook and one to our captain via PM. I explained that they should take their time (again, I might could have mentioned that I was possibly having a health crisis) but that I was going to need someone to pick me up. Eventually the race organizers sent a volunteer in a golf cart to come pick me up. Arriving at the finish line as a passenger in a golf cart rather than crossing it under my own power was so humbling (and, honestly, embarrassing).

Cardiac Issues

I didn’t share this publicly on 10/2, but this is the pic I sent my coach and team as I waited on my golf cart rescue chariot.

Here’s where things stand for me at this point:

This Is Not Just About Running Anymore

It was one thing to change my approach to running as the tachycardia issue got worse. Now that it’s affecting walking, the situation has gotten more serious as it impacts a proportionally larger part of my life. I’ve always had a sort of “I’m not fast but I can hang with pretty much anything endurance-wise” approach but now I find myself evaluating EVERY activity, not just the ones that are labeled as “exercise,” on its likelihood to be affected by my issue. When I was at a conference at Disney recently, my companions and I were running late to get to a dinner reservation in EPCOT because of some transportation changes (the Monorail to EPCOT was not running). We were under the gun to get to the restaurant before our reservation was cancelled and my credit card was charged. It’s a pretty long way from the admission gates of EPCOT to “Japan,” and I was praying I could keep up with their brisk pace, and popping a beta blocker hoping that would help me hang with them (it worked out fine).

I need to be able to walk a mile without stopping, both for exercise and because my life just involves a lot of “going.” 

Being Stubborn About Doing Things on My Own Can Be Dangerous

The double-pronged issue of a) loving doing things solo and b) being hesitant to ask for help is an issue that could just be classified as “that’s how I am” but now it impacts my health and survival. I’m grieving the limitations I feel now — I am not going to go out and spend an hour isolated on the Greenway — who would find me if I passed out? And although I would advise anyone in my circle to ask for help if they need it (and hopefully I would be the first to offer if they asked), I hate imposing. This is not an easy change to get used to.

We need each other. My biggest adversary here is myself, and I need to reach some detente with me.

The Exercise/Fatigue/Caffeine Cycle

Maybe none of this would be an issue if I had followed the cardiologist’s advice more than ten years ago and stopped caffeine altogether. I have tried a few runs without caffeine and still experienced problems, so I can’t say it’s the caffeine. But I am in a cycle (that I’ve almost always been in) of dealing with fatigue. I think some of it is low blood pressure — I’ve always struggled to stay awake … in meetings, singing in the choir (i.e., facing the congregation as a minister gives the message and dozing….THAT’S special). Lately I’ve had friends I’m conversing with say “you’re clearly tired” as I’m simply trying to stay with a conversation. Driving pretty much anywhere requires a cold brisk water, soda, or other beverage to keep me alert. One of the things I love about working from home is the ability to take a ten minute micronap when the fatigue hits — it makes all the difference and doing it in the privacy of my home doesn’t bring with it the indignity of getting drowsy in public.

If I don’t drink caffeine (or find some other way to not get drowsy/fatigued), my professional and personal life are impacted. I guess I should make a big summarizing point in this particular italicized sentence but: I love and need coffee and would find it almost impossible to break up with it. That is all!

The Gray Areas In Dealing With Cardiac Issues Are Vexing

It is irritating and a little humiliating to try to explain a health issue others can’t see. If I had a cast on my leg or some other outwardly obvious sign that I am working through something, that would be different, but as it is, many people start every conversation with “the usual”: “So when’s your next race?” “What are you training for?” Etc. Etc. Etc. My social  network is largely comprised of runners. My social media content is liberally filled with running. The first place I head when I walk into a store is the fitness/running section.

When Running Is Bad for Your Health

Although this post has been percolating in my head (I had lots of time to think about it sitting on that curb in Southwood waiting for the golf cart (sigh)), I hesitated because I do not want it to be a whining, “poor me” post. I guess in a way it’s an attempt to put down in words the fumbling around I do when conversing about this when the zillionth person says “when’s your next race?”

I feel more keenly aware of the fact that I’ve spent years throwing out platitudes to other injured/ill runner friends: “you’ll get back to it,” “every step matters,” “people understand.” I feel aware of the challenge my father in law must feel when he is feeling faint and I’m screaming at him “PUT YOUR WEIGHT ON YOUR LEGS” because honestly, there was a moment there at Southwood on October 2 when the 1 mile back to the start line might as well have been 10,000 miles. No amount of willpower on my part would overcome the fact that my heart was done. with. ambulating. for. that. hour. DONE.

It’s a pain when well-meaning relatives say things like “well now that you’re not running but eating like a runner, there’s a weight issue.” (Yes, there is. I weigh more now than I did at the max of either of my pregnancies and my food consumption, especially the stress eating, really needs to be separated out (by me) from my runner persona.) It’s a process.

The Finish Line

This is not a post with a nice neat ending.

I guess my best advice right now is …..if your health enables you to fully engage in what you love for exercise and an outlet, do it and don’t take it for granted. If someone in your circle drops off the radar, give them an opportunity to try to process it and know that they themselves may not really be capable of explaining it or responding to their personal challenges, but they do still need you.

Their heart may still be putting in the miles even if their race reports don’t show it.

Cardiac Issues

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8 New Words In an Evolving Language

(This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive compensation.)

I love language. I can’t remember a time when I was not an avid reader, and I’ve always enjoyed wordplay.

I can be a stickler about many things English-language related (hello, beloved Oxford comma), but I recognize that the English language is a living, breathing entity, not a static one. Social media has, to me, put the evolution of English on hyperdrive.

I think of all of the words consigned to word graveyard because a hashtag takes their place. For example, in this tweet…

…an “I” and an “am” and a “so” all remained home in the word farm stable, unused, because a hashtag did all the heavy lifting for a passage which would have otherwise read “After an intense homework session, finally going to bed. I am so tired.” (I do this frequently too, I just couldn’t find an example when writing this post, so thanks @stinger444 for the perfect example.)

New Words in an Evolving Language

The way our language usage has changed due to Twitter and other forms of social media is a topic for a whole post of its own. What I want to talk about today is new words which I have come across in the last year that made me go, “HUH….”

In some cases, they are words that are a bit ingenious in representing a particular concept. In others, they (to me) signal either a new humanitarian sensitivity or, in some cases, a walking on eggshells nod to political correctness.

Prior to writing this post, I looked up “how a word gets into the dictionary” which has a great infographic detailing the routes words take to being “official.” For each word, I’ll let you know if it’s in the dictionary yet and I’ll share a few thoughts on the word. They’re not presented in any particular order. I just added them to a draft post as I ran across them.

Previvor

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

I don’t recall where I first read this word, but I think it may have been in reference to Angelina Jolie in an article like this one from the Washington Post.

previvor is the survivor of a predisposition to cancer who has not had the disease, such as a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation or other genes related to Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer (HBOC).

This is one of those words I want to be aware of. If someone uses it in a face-to-face conversation, I will be more prepared to understand the fears/emotions/challenges inherent in the fact that they are a previvor. Likewise, if someone uses it on social media, I won’t have to ask “what’s that?” and can respond in an informed and empathetic way.

If you are a previvor, this site, FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered), may be of support.

Latinx

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

I don’t recall where I first read this word either, but for quite some time I thought it was an unusual typo and I could NOT figure out how to pronounce it. It’s not a typo. (Thanks, Complex, for cluing me in.)

According to Complex (linked above), Latinx is pronounced “La-TEEN-ex” and is a “gender-inclusive way of referring to people of Latin American descent.” In addition, “used by activists and some academics, the term is gaining traction among the general public, after having been featured in publications such as NPR to Latina.”

(By the way, the author of the Complex piece on Latinx, @yesipadilla, refers to herself as “Xicanx” so I think I see a trend!).

I’m glad I now know that Latinx is not a typo. I know that if someone uses it, they are explaining something important to them about their identity and how they want to be seen in the world. It’s one of those words that reminds us not to make assumptions.

It’s not like I have any authority to recommend a great site for the Latinx community, but since my work related to the CDC’s efforts around HIV Awareness is so important to me, I’ll highlight one of the first places I heard about the term Latinx: National Latinx AIDS Awareness Day (October 15). If you can recommend a general resource for those who identify as Latinx, I’d love to know about it.

Cisgender

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? YES

The first place I really recall hearing this word frequently was at the We Won’t Wait 2016 conference in September, which had several sessions related to issues facing the transgender and LGBTQIA+ communities. Then I read Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out, a book which used this term, and decided I really needed to figure out what the reference meant.

According to Merriam-Webster, cisgender means of, relating to, or being a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth. For examples of how it is used, read the full definition here.

I have to be honest. The word “cisgender” sits funny on my ears. BUT I can see why it is useful, as part of the current dialogue about gender identity. There was a teen highlighted in Beyond Magenta who was a boy transitioning to a girl who went to an all-boys school. It sort of made me wonder about the world I’ve always known, which so tidily segregated boys from girls. Boys’ schools, girls’ schools, boys’ teams, girls’ teams. Things are changing. People who find themselves somewhere in the middle ground between “I 100% identify as male” and “I 100% identify as female” have a language to more accurately reflect the fact that they are on a journey whose terminology does not provide definition at times. Another area where I can converse in a more informed way now that I know.

To learn more about how to have a dialogue about gender identity, this is a helpful resource. It’s directed at teens but if you’re like me, your knowledge about gender issues may NOT correlate with your chronological age. We all need to start somewhere.

Cultural Appropriation

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

The first place I recall hearing this phrase was in a post about a Disney-themed costume. I believe it was an article like this one about a Moana costume. The term “cultural appropriation” has continued to assert itself in the content I read. I don’t recall if the exact term was used, but if not the concept itself was covered in Waking Up White, and Finding Myself in the Story of Race by Debby Irving.

In About News, Susan Scafidi defines Cultural Appropriation as “Taking intellectual property, traditional knowledge, cultural expressions, or artifacts from someone else’s culture without permission. This can include unauthorized use of another culture’s dance, dress, music, language, folklore, cuisine, traditional medicine, religious symbols, etc. It’s most likely to be harmful when the source community is a minority group that has been oppressed or exploited in other ways or when the object of appropriation is particularly sensitive, e.g. sacred objects.”

I struggle with this one (but I do, for starters, understand it and believe awareness is key). If you know me at all, you know I am a proud double alum of Florida State University. Since I became a freshman in 1982 through now, I have seen changes: Lady Scalphunters are now Lady Spirithunters, for example. I realize it was disingenuous to parrot back what I was always told: “well the Seminole nation is okay with it.” But rightly or wrongly I still embrace Seminole fan paraphernalia and …… well, it’s a work in progress.

This resource I found about cultural appropriation was the best kind of resource: it involves your mind while engaging you in an activity beyond reading. I present: Cultural Appropriation Bingo from Dr. Sheila Addison.

Phygital

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

I learned the term Phygital from a Spin Sucks blog post, Four Phygital Marketing Ideas to Grow Your Business, by @openagentoz.

Phygital customer expects a brand to combine the physical and the digital for a best-of-both-worlds experience

Honestly, after Cultural Appropriation, I’m just happy to have a word that isn’t laden with challenge to discuss (but hold on to your physical hats and enjoy this section because Othering is coming up next).

Knowing the word Phygital makes me feel up to date on marketing trends. I personally *love* being a consumer contributor of Social Snaps, such as this Fitbit/Giant Microbes/Shot at Life Instagram post.

Evolving Language

For more about all things “phygital,” transport yourself way back to 2012 and read this.

Othering

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

There are No Others defines Othering as “any action by which an individual or group becomes mentally classified in somebody’s mind as “not one of us.” Rather than always remembering that every person is a complex bundle of emotions, ideas, motivations, reflexes, priorities, and many other subtle aspects, it’s sometimes easier to dismiss them as being in some way less human, and less worthy of respect and dignity, than we are.”

This is another term that is new to me. I think it was in Waking Up White (linked above), but I read the audio and can’t easily look it back up. Regardless, I’m hearing it often and my consciousness is raised. This is somewhat tied into the compulsion to “help” that I grew up with. I *think* my support of Unbound is sensitive to “othering” but how many times have I written about “those in poverty” and really done so in a way that respects each individual’s worth?

There are some good resources for learning about “othering” here.

Carefrontation

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

I first heard this term used by Dan Negroni, author of Chasing Relevance. Although I can’t find that reference anymore (why on earth didn’t I  hang on to the link then?!, a twitter search turns up lots of instances).

As defined on Oprah.comCarefrontation is “putting our heads together to reach a common goal.” Read the complete post here.

I know I avoid confrontation, and by doing so lose out on opportunities to have peace of mind and to actually get things I want. Maybe there’s something to be said for, as the Oprah.com article recommends, implementing a three-point plan of preparing with care, offering an invitation to talk, and practicing no-blame talking and listening.

Where to find more about Carefrontations? I could link to this but then I would have to add “choice points” to my list and I feel like I’m at capacity right now. 😉 Here’s a post about it from Great Leadership that’s a good read.

Fungineering 

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary? NO

I first heard this term used in this New York Times book review of Why Are Americans So Anxious? related to Zappo’s.

Fungineering at Zappo’s is defined in this article as “a kind of events-planning pep squad.”

I just like “fungineering” because it’s a neat word mashup and portrays some of the out-of-the-box ways organizations can bring humor and joy to the workplace. However, I was alarmed at the reference in the book review to how the author seeks input from Zappo’s happiness evangelist Tony Hsieh: “Whippman has a weird email exchange with Hsieh in which he uses lots of exclamation points and refers to the ‘holacracy’ and ‘brand aura’ (she doesn’t know and neither do I). But he declines to meet with her because he doesn’t prioritize people he feels ‘drained by after I interact with them,’ he writes.”

Where to find more about fungineering? I’m guessing you might not want to contact Tony Hsieh directly but if you’re in College Station, TX, this may be an option to explore.

WHAT NEW WORD WOULD YOU ADD TO THIS LIST? 

Evolving Language