The Brick (Flash Fiction)

I was fortunate to be able to participate in the Tallahassee Writers Association annual conference Saturday.  One of the workshops was about Flash Fiction (The Wink of Immediacy), and it was led by Mark Ari. Mark led us through an activity, the centerpiece of which was “The Brick”:

BRICK

Our first instruction was to pass the brick from participant to participant, with each of us verbalizing something tangible about the brick. The list of contributions (some of which are more concrete than others) follows: intimidating, cool, rough, porous, pocked, solid, heavy, inconsistent, dark, rectangular, used, dense, enduring, pumice, dangerous, brown, dappled, aggregate, earthy, speckled, bloody, brick, sharp, punctured, angular, chipped, dirty, stolen, borrowed, 3-D, textured, 3 x 6 x 2, insolvent, colored, massive, dry, concrete, heavy, hard, coated, mortared, plain, ugly, and modular.

Following that piece of the exercise, we were told to: Write a story to the brick, excluding all of the words you just shared about its characteristics.

Okee dokee then. So I wrote. And I wrote this:

BRICK

You are not accustomed to being alone like this. Handled, passed around like a newborn at its first extended family outing.

You are passed from person to person, each individual trying to figure out what makes you … you.

You will be examined, analyzed — the very center of attention — for fifteen minutes of notoriety.

But you will grow up, you will become more like us and our common polymers will bind us together. You will nestle into the family line and together we will build something strong and impenetrable.

**

I really love these writing exercises at conferences — I get so sleepy when the activity is more passive, and (of course) I had gotten up super early to get my run in before the conference. I will think of “Mr. Brick” for a long time into the future!

**

On another note, I am not sure why I feel compelled to explain this but …. I have taken on an editing project. This is not new (to be doing an editing project on the side) but I have set a goal to complete it before our family vacation which begins June 22. I am running out of things to eliminate. I have to do my day job (obviously); I have a commitment to my fitness goals which means I can’t slack off on those; I have two children to parent and a spouse who needs my engagement. The only thing I can think to eliminate is my “Wordless Wednesdays” and my “Mama Kat” prompt responses every Thursday. I have kept my “Sunday blog” streak alive for three years so I will maintain it, and I’ll fit the others in if I can, but as we climb out of two years of job loss for hubs, and as I endeavor to keep my relationships with my editing clients healthy, as they said in the Diane Keaton/Jack Nicholson movie, Something’s Gotta Give. Thank you for understanding.

 

Leaders Open Doors (A Book Review)

Visit most elementary school classrooms, and you will see a division of duties that includes job tasks critical to the smooth functioning of the classroom: line leader, snack helper, paper passer, calendar captain, and door holder. Although Mama Kat’s prompt tonight asked us to “share something your child said or did that surprised you,” I am borrowing something Bill Treasurer’s child, Ian, said. Watch this brief video to hear what Ian said:

Ian’s statement, “I got to open doors for people,” and Bill Treasurer’s elaboration on the six types of “Doors of Opportunity” in his book, Leaders Open Doors, reminded me of how easily we can “complexify” the challenges we face at work.

Thinking about Ian’s pride in opening doors for his classmates echoed back to how fulfilled I have felt when leaders throughout my career have made me feel like an important part of the team. They did this in different ways: making sure I had information about the project so that I understood where my task fit in the “big picture,” making me feel like my contribution was something that I was uniquely positioned and qualified to do, and (even though I didn’t always get warm fuzzies about this) giving me specific directions when I needed to make corrections.

One of Bill Treasurer’s recommended “Open-Door Actions and Reflections” is: Identify at least one leader who helped bring about a personal shift for you. What was the shift? Why did you need it? What did the leader do to help bring it about?

I have had many leaders over the years, effective ones, abrupt ones, milquetoast ones. To provide an example that might make sense to Ian and his teacher (if they happened to be a 48 year old in the workplace), I’ll share this: we had a team of consultants at Healthy Kids once who were working with us on process improvement projects. There was a difficult technology transition under way, and as the Director of Customer Service, I had gotten in the habit of writing lengthy, detailed, ill-tempered emails about problems I was experiencing with our new system and the effects of the problems on our enrollees. The consultant said to me, very matter of factly, “you know, you write long emails about these issues and you are blasting waves of ‘this is a problem,’ ‘this is also a problem,’ and ‘there is a third issue too….’ to multiple recipients, without identifying who you hope is going to rectify the situation or suggesting solutions. This is taking up your time without yielding any solutions.”

That conversation was held several years ago. I can’t think of a single email since then where I have not identified who I was directing the email to (even if I cc’d others for the sake of sharing important information) or what outcome I hoped for. It has helped me use my time more effectively and the likelihood of eliciting solutions to the problems I am presenting is higher.

Bill Treasurer reminds us, “It’s hard to be an open-door leader if your mental door is closed.” I thank Lori, the consultant mentioned above, for helping me push through a behavioral door that was hurting me. I encourage you to pick up Bill’s book to refresh your approach to leadership in a radically simple way.

opendoors

Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer at Giant Leap Consulting and former U.S. High Diver, wants leaders to be a part of opening doors of opportunities for others to thrive, achieve, and lead. The proceeds of his new book, Leaders Open Doors, are being donated to charities that serve children with special needs. Available on Amazon.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

Wordless Wednesday (Cade’s “11″ Edition)

This past weekend, I ran with a superhero. The only feet touching the ground were mine, but I was not a “solo” runner.

I was running with 200+ of Cade’s friends.

The occasion was “Run the 11th Mile for Cade on Mother’s Day Weekend

A compilation of images from my run is below. I kept hoping for signs: “superheroes,” the number 11, things that would symbolize Cade, who passed away at the age of nine in 2010. As is often the case with life, I really didn’t find much until I was on my cooldown walk, when I stopped trying to force something to materialize:

Cade Collage

To learn more about Cade, visit his CaringBridge page here.

This event went from a “why don’t we?” idea on Facebook to what I am pretty sure is going to turn into a recurring event. If you’re interested, let the group know via the event page.

cade plaque

crafty spices

So Over These Overages

I have hesitated writing this blog post because a) I had hoped the situation would be resolved by now; b) I don’t like dragging companies through the mud image-wise if there is anything I can do through less public channels to resolve things; and c) I wasn’t confident about my ability to explain the facts.

But honestly, how many facts do I have to have to explain that our family’s cellphone bill is now higher every month, all because a button on my teenager’s iPhone was stuck?

Our family have been Verizon (AllTel, then Verizon) customers for a long time. Since the time when the only phone options were “dumb,” since before we relied upon our phones to document our life in pictures, since before Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram existed. We have paid them lots of money, been loyal customers, and had a great relationship with them on social media.

I try to keep up with tech news, which is why I knew that Verizon was in the process of phasing out “unlimited” data plans. As most consumers would, I had hoped that our time for this phase-out would come later instead of sooner.

Tenley took her iPhone in to Verizon a couple of months ago because the button on top was sticking. To my understanding, she was encouraged to “just get a new phone,” since the new phone would be “free.” She was satisfied with that arrangement, understandably.

So was I, until I started getting the “data alerts” that she was inching closer to a “data limit.”  I immediately emailed a Verizon rep who has been a huge help to me with various questions over the years, asking why all of a sudden I was getting “data alerts.” I received no response.

Cyberbullying Two

Our family then went to Verizon and met with a rep, who explained that she probably wouldn’t use “too much over” and reviewed other data plan options we could have if we switched the family’s internet service to Verizon.

And the data alerts kept on flowing.

I tweeted Verizon, and ended up talking with a very nice rep, who explained that she should take advantage of wi fi wherever she was. She has been trying but still the “data alerts” and additional charges keep pouring in.

All because a button was stuck.

It’s not right, and it has led to an additional expense our family can ill afford as we try to recover our financial footing after two years of unemployment for my husband and as we prepare for college costs for our daughter.

If I hear back from Verizon, and they agree to reinstate Tenley’s unlimited data plan, I’ll most certainly update this blog and give Verizon all the props they earn. If I don’t hear back from them, all I can say is if you are a Verizon customer who still has the precious unlimited data plan, don’t assume a “free replacement phone” will be all that free.

We learned the hard way.

My Longest Drives (A Mama Kat Writing Prompt)

For my Mama Kat prompt this week, I chose “A long drive,” a prompt which sent me down some primarily sad roads of memory….

1) The drive as part of the funeral procession for my sister-in-law, Ann, after she had died utterly unexpectedly at the age of 30.

2) The drive with my spouse from Tallahassee Memorial to our house after I had been released from the hospital, knowing I was going home to bed rest to let my son “incubate” more after a bout of premature labor, wondering if I should say out loud my fears that I had somehow caused this to happen, but not having the courage, words, or trust to do so.

Source: morgueFile

Source: morgueFile

3) The drive from our house to my inlaws the morning we had to tell them that my brother in law Chuck had committed suicide. We had known since the prior evening. It was about 9 miles to the gas station where we were meeting Wayne’s sister, Mary, and another mile to their house. Every single mile felt like twenty.

4) The drive from my hometown to Tallahassee and back (about 2.5 hours each way) when I was home from New York City and had requested (demanded?) that my parents visit a therapist with me. One car, three people, miles and miles of silent tense questions.

5) Any drive when I am tired, need to use the bathroom, and the coffee/caffeine just doesn’t seem to be helping (maybe the coffee/caffeine item needs to precede the bathroom item!).

Have there been happy long drives? Maybe, but none come to mind. I get drowsy (as the driver or the passenger). I get restless. I get anxious about the potential for accidents. I need to pee.

Anyone want to join me on a road trip and help create some fun long-drive memories?

Mama’s Losin’ It

What Rhymes With Big Green Pen?

There’s only one thing that I am more reluctant to share on YouTube than my running form, and that is my “singing.” But a challenge was issued so I am attempting to rise to it.

It started back when I read and commented on this post by Gini Dietrich about her Follow Friday philosophy. (Follow Friday or #FF is a Twitter tradition that indicates the person you #FF is worth following. Surely created by someone who loves alliteration.)

I found her post interesting because my approach is pretty different — I have a list of roughly 50 people who I #FF on Fridays. They are a combination of individuals, products, and causes I care about. I still do my 50, but Gini’s post did make me think about the ones I tweet out there without context. I have redoubled my efforts to explain why they get an #FF from me.

When Gini was away from her blog for a few weeks, she had fill-ins for various editions of her regular blogs.

Fill-ins such as Chuck Kent of Creative on Call, who created this little masterpiece:

And I complimented Chuck on this masterpiece (which I really do think rocks!) although I couldn’t help pointing out that it would have been sheer perfection had it included a certain writing instrument with which I share my twitter handle. He responded back that it was a challenge to find something that rhymes with Big Green Pen. No fear, Chuck, I’ve got you covered. It was easier to send Gini the bribe I sent her than to come up with 47 seconds of Twinkle Twinkle “What Rhymes With Pen.” Honestly……

Get Groovy With Hippie Juice (A Mama Kat Writing Prompt)

photo (73)

One of the Mama Kat prompts this week is:

Refreshments anyone? Prepare a drink for us and share the recipe!

Since I aim to please (and because I had all the ingredients since I made this recipe for a party in April), I bring you: Hippie Juice!

I discovered Hippie Juice on Pinterest and read about different variations on this blog. It’s perfect for a spring get-together or a beach outing. Here’s what you’ll need:

  • A clean “Simply” brand juice container
  • Country Time Pink Lemonade powder mix
  • 1 cup Smirnoff Watermelon Vodka
  • 1/3 cup Triple Sec
  • 1/3 cup Malibu Coconut Rum
  • 4 strawberries

Measure out enough lemonade powder mix for two quarts (the lid of the container has a line for two quarts). Add the vodka, the triple sec, and the coconut rum. Mix it all together and put it in the Simply container. Add cold water to the neck of the Simply container.

Rinse the strawberries and cut straight across with a knife to remove the stem. Then place the strawberries upside down on the cutting board and slice evenly into 4 pieces using two motions forming a cross.

Drop the strawberries into the drink mixture, add water to the top, cap and shake gently to mix. Refrigerate.

Enjoy!

hippie juice collage

 Mama’s Losin’ It

Wordless Wednesday (Through The Trees Edition)

#WHPThroughTheTrees

This weekend’s Instagram “Weekend Hashtag Project” honored the 141-year-old Arbor Day holiday, dedicated to planting and caring for trees. The goal was “to capture photographs through trees.” All of mine were taken in a 20-minute period while on a cooldown after a run Saturday.

photo (62)

Pedrick Pond – Spanish Moss

#

tree arrow

My favorite – a literal “through the trees” image!

#

photo (64)

Capital City Christian Church

(Weekend Hashtag Project is a series featuring designated themes & hashtags chosen by Instagram’s Community Team. For a chance to be featured on the Instagram blog, follow @instagram and look for a photo announcing the weekend’s project every Friday.)

crafty spices

From Ferns to Bellflowers (World Book Night 2013)

Moss Grow

“Moss Graffiti”

When I first learned about World Book Night, I knew immediately that I wanted to apply to be a book giver. According to its website: World Book Night is an annual celebration dedicated to spreading the love of reading, person to person.  Each year on April 23, tens of thousands of people in the U.S. go out into their communities and give a total of half a million free World Book Night paperbacks to light and non-readers. 

Several months ago, I applied to be a “giver” for this year’s April 23, 2013, book night, and I was thrilled when my proposal to give books to the women at the Gadsden Correctional Facility was approved. My first choice (you have to submit three) was The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. (My second choices were the English version of The Alchemist and the Spanish version of The Alchemist.) I was thrilled to get The Language of Flowers. I felt like it was a perfect fit for the women at Gadsden, who I first got to know almost a year ago when I began volunteering with their running club.

When we started our evening, I propped up our “blank canvas” next to me:

WBN Blank Canvas

Here is a slightly abridged version of my presentation:

World Book Night 2013 – The Language of Flowers

Hi everyone – it is really nice to be here tonight!

I applied to be a Book Giver for World Book Night so that I could have an excuse to come here without getting all sweaty like I do with the running club (kidding!).

When I found out about World Book Night, which is an annual celebration dedicated to spreading the love of reading, person to person, I noticed that one of the book choices was The Language of Flowers, by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. I immediately thought about the landscaping I have seen here when I have been participating in the runs, and it occurred to me that this book would be a good match for you all.

It is difficult to talk about The Language of Flowers without giving away a lot of what happens, so I am going to talk about the book some, but I am also going to talk about what I have gotten out of reading and out of participating in book clubs. Throughout that, I am going to share how much the “meaning” of flowers struck me as I read the book, and we are going to create our own floral “arrangement” as a keepsake of our evening together.

When I first heard about this book, our book club at work was considering reading it. The title made me think of a dry reference book with explanations of what different flowers “meant.” (Attaching meanings to flowers started back in the Victorian ages in the 1800s, so you could fill a whole reference book with names of flowers and definitions). What shocked me, pleasantly, when I started reading The Language of Flowers is that although it is about flowers and their meanings, it is actually Victoria’s story.

When we first meet Victoria, she is 18. Having been abandoned as an infant, she ends up winding her way through various residences, through foster homes, group homes, and the adoption process. Although these experiences held more pain than happiness, she was at a home for a period of time with an adult who loved flowers and taught her their meaning. This knowledge finds its place in her heart, and whatever happens throughout the book, her abilities with flowers, and her intuitive understanding that there is more to them than color and smell, takes her on a long and winding journey.

**I am going to stop here so we can start our arrangement. Each of you will get to add a flower to the arrangement, but I will start the ball rolling by giving the arrangement a backdrop. This (green foliage) is fern. It has a fancy name that I can’t pronounce, but it stands for sincerity. So when you look at this arrangement, you’ll know that this activity comes from me, from a place of sincerity.**

Another thing that fascinated me about The Language of Flowers is that I had an opportunity to hear an interview the author gave. I learned that she is a foster parent herself and I continued to have the sense as I read the book that she was infusing Victoria with her own exposure to that world. She is from California, studied creative writing and education, then went on to teach art and writing to youth in low-income communities. She and her husband, PK, have three children: Tre’von, eighteen, who is a former foster child; Chela, four; and Miles, three. Tre’von is now attending New York University.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh is also the founder of The Camellia Network. The mission of the Camellia Network is to create a nationwide movement to support youth transitioning from foster care. In The Language of Flowers, Camellia means “My Destiny is in Your Hands.” The network’s name emphasizes the belief in the interconnectedness of humanity: each gift a young person receives is accompanied by a camellia, a reminder that the destiny of our nation lies in the hands of our youngest citizens. (Italicized info from The Camellia Network website.)

**At this point, I was going to invite someone to add a camellia as the first flower but the camellia was hiding from me! (It was found and added later.)**

Ms. Norris (the staff member who helped coordinate the evening) told me you have been talking about starting a book club here. I think that’s a great idea! I have been a member of several. It fascinates me how five different people reading the same book can come away with five completely different impressions of what the book said and what it meant to them! Another thing that being in a book club did for me was force me to read things that I may not have read otherwise. I am glad I was pushed to read something that I would not have chosen otherwise.  We have also been fortunate to have some authors come and speak with us. It’s always interesting to hear about the process behind the writing of a book.

**I stopped here to let some of the participants add flowers**

Before I talk a little bit more about the book “The Language of Flowers” while trying not to give away the plot, I am curious what some of your favorite books are. I will tell you mine is The Diary of a Young Girl, also known as the Diary of Anne Frank. It moved me so much when I was young. As a result, I am still involved in Holocaust Education efforts in Tallahassee.

Anyone want to share theirs?

**We discussed favorite books, then more women added flowers to our arrangement.**

Before we complete our arrangement, I’ll tell you a little more about what to expect in the book, but like I said I have to leave a lot of it a mystery. That’s the fun of having something to look forward to. Victoria, who the book centers around, has a lot of challenges seeing her own potential.  You will meet various people in the book who see a lot more in her than she does in herself. Is that something that any of you can relate to?

Another thing you will notice about The Language of Flowers is that the chapters alternate between “present time” and various stages in Victoria’s life. Some people like that in a book. Some don’t. Once I got used to it, it was okay! And I was listening to it as an audio book so that arrangement took a little getting used to.

You will see “family” represented several different ways throughout The Language of Flowers. I think this is something the author’s background being involved in the foster care system helped with in writing this book. You can see several of the characters struggle with finding themselves despite having a non traditional family upbringing, or despite having hardly any family support at all, or despite having a parent with mental illness. There are a lot of things that lead these characters to wonder if they have what it takes to be a family.

We are going to finish our floral arrangement and then I have two last things to say.

**The last of the participants added flowers.**

Lastly, one theme you will see a lot of in The Language of Flowers is forgiveness and second chances. I can’t say for who, how, or why or I would take away the awesome discovery of being a reader of this book, but trust me, they’re there.There is a line in the book where Victoria says, “moss grows without roots.” To me that symbolizes the fact that even when we don’t have the perfect foundation and have to rely on ourselves, we can still grow and flourish. (At this point I added a picture of moss to the arrangement as the finishing touch.)

And to share my favorite line with you:

There is a point near the end of the book when Victoria faces another challenge and another opportunity to rise above it or fail. She says, “Flowers were my escape. With flowers in my hands, perhaps I could survive.” I remain moved by Victoria’s use of her gift of understanding the language of flowers. I remain moved by her determination to survive. I have met a lot of you before, just meeting some of you tonight, but I hope this book gives you pleasure, and I hope you know each one of you has gifts that will help you through life’s challenges.

WBN stickerAfter our discussion, we shared snacks and drinks — the culinary program had prepared delectable monster cookies and chocolate chip cookies for us. They were huge (and tasty).

wbn four with cookies

Enjoying cookies and book discussion.

I thoroughly enjoyed my evening being a Book Giver. In retrospect, I realize I was wrong in presuming these women would be “light” or “non” readers. Many of them are very well-read and I walked away with an even lengthier “to be read” list than I went in with! But I hope our evening encouraged those who are consistent readers to consider taking the next step of forming a book club, and I hope it encouraged participants who aren’t particularly excited about reading to give it a try. If any book can pull them in and keep them interested, it’s this one.

Here’s our finished product as well as the special World Book Night copies of The Language of Flowers:

wbn three group pic

World_Book_Night_4-23-13_018 (1)

And I can’t leave out the dogs who participated (GCI has a greyhound rehabilitation program (among other animal programs) and the dogs participate with the women in order to work on socialization skills):

wbn six with dogsIf you are interested in being a Book Giver for 2014, visit the WBN site and sign up for the newsletter. That’s the best way to get information.

Lastly, thank you to Warden Molina and Traci Norris at Gadsden Correctional for their help in setting this up. Thank you to Vanessa Diffenbaugh for being so supportive via social media. And thank you, most of all, to the women who spent time with me exploring the wonders of books, on this night represented by The Language of Flowers. Bellflowers are said to mean gratitude, so I leave you with bellflowers……

bellflower

Bellflower (Gratitude)

*Note: The “Grow” moss graffiti came from this source.