I am participating in the 31 Days of Free Writes October challenge. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation. (Confession: I *may* not be able to resist spell-checking!)
Today’s prompt: Remember
I remember what was going on in this picture, taken in February of this year.
Jim, our incredible hospice volunteer, had asked me, “Do you think your FIL would want to ‘golf’?”
I really was at the point that I barely thought he could walk to the bathroom, much less “golf,” but I knew better than to throw out a negative. Therefore, I said, “you can try….”
Next visit, he showed up, club in hand. He patiently set up the scenario pictured here. He took Dad’s chair outside so he could sit when he got tired. He patiently walked him outside, down a set of stairs he never navigated anymore, and they “golfed.”
This is a picture I snuck from my bedroom to send to our family members so they could see (Dad was a HUGE golfer in his prime).
Here’s the thing — I have not called Jim, the stalwart of our Hospice experience as far as volunteers go — since Dad died on July 2.
I kept meaning to, then kept putting it off. And now I can’t find his phone number.
The last day we talked, he was leaving for a trip and I think we both knew in our intuitions that Dad would not be around when he returned from his trip.
But I want him to know:
I remember his incredible kindness.
I remember the mid-day naps I could take, knowing he was here — even the days he literally just sat in our living room because Dad was in bed — but it gave me the space to relax for a few minutes.
I remember how kind he was to the cats, giving them time to sniff him every time he walked in the door.
I remember how, when Dad asked if he had a yellow DNR form too, he said “yes.” (It was the only answer that would have worked, true or not.
I remember you Jim, and how you helped Dad take a “shot” at having a glimpse of normalcy and compassion every time you walked in the door.
(Editor’s note: I am going to make sure Jim receives this …..)
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
Loved this Paula! <3
Thanks! 🙂
Jim was an angel on earth. Incredible what he did for you, your family and most especially your FIL. I hope you can find Jim and give this to him.
In every way! (And I have a close close friend who works for Hospice and will make sure he gets it.) 🙂
How special! Jim sounds like an amazing person to have at your side during this time of transition. Hospice workers really are special.
Agree – and he VOLUNTEERED for this! I am most struck by — unless the family has had a member in hospice prior — how the volunteer has seen so many families go through the process so knows what we can’t possibly know (yet) about the stages ahead. <<<– if this makes sense!