Five Minute Friday: DEEP
Here’s something I desperately need: a deep conversation.
I’m not sure when that kind of thing fell out of my world. I suspect it was around the time I left my Healthy Kids job (four years ago). I do know, in retrospect, that the kinds of things you end up sharing when you are in a traditional office (vs. remote) are, to an extent, a function of the fact that you’re all together all day long.
What I mean by that is … it’s a bit of a false intimacy. You share some pretty in-depth details of your life and how you feel about things because you’re all together anyway.
When I ended up being at home, and being with my father-in-law all day every day for so long, there was a shift in how I spent my time. The opportunities for superficial conversations to go deeper dried up, and I became a bit more insular.
Ironically, deeply life-changing things have happened over the four years since I left that job. My father-in-law’s day-to-day life, his two bouts with cancer, his death. My mom’s death. The emptying of the nest when my son moved out the month after my father-in-law passed away.
The “deep” things come at odder places now: an unexpected personal interaction on Slack. A conversation with a stranger that takes a personal turn for the a moment of more personal sharing.
But I need to hear other people out and be the sounding board for them as much as I need to share things myself.
I think I ended another FMF post this same way, so maybe there’s a hint I’m supposed to get, but it’s time to schedule some coffee dates.
Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
Neighbors at FMF – great post. Honest.
Thanks!
Your post speaks to the need for relationships. When my working life came to an immediate halt, it took three years for me to have those kinds of conversations again. I had a few good friends at work who filled that relationships need. Now I have my walking group and we often have breakfast together after walking. The conversation we have now is much deeper and more meaningful than any I have had ever before. We are relational beings. We need each other.
We definitely do (need each other).
Like you, I not only enjoy deep conversations, I thrive on them. We so need good relationships in our lives – ones that are authentic, loving, loyal, and lasting.
They are rare gifts.
For me, a deep conversation goes something like, “Yo, dude, hold my beer and watch THIS!”
I really can only be ‘deep’ on my blog, and sometimes in comments on other blogs; it’s just easier in writing.
“Easier in writing” applies to me about 92% of the time — I hear you on that.
Deep conversations are the best! More coffee dates sound divine!
I concur!
I think you have hit on a societal epidemic. This is why I think we need to get back to sitting on our front porches, inviting people in for that cup of tea and being willing to ask deeper questions and take risks with sharing and listening. Thanks for the reminder
We really do. Thanks for stopping by.