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October 22, 2018

FMF31 2018 DAY 22: HELP

I am participating in 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes 2018 (all of my submissions can be found here).

Today’s prompt is: HELP

Ed. Note: I did today’s prompt by writing my thoughts by hand. I’ve typed them up below. (Full disclosure: I forgot to set my timer, so I’m not really sure if today’s contribution fit within the five-minute framework or not!)

Five Minute Friday Help

There have been countless discussions on social media (and in person) over the months following the deaths by suicide of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain regarding how people should *please* reach out for help if they are feeling desolate, desperate, down, depressed, etc.

It isn’t as easy as it sounds.

I’ve shared a bit during this challenge about the personal, internal tug-of-war that took place as I grappled with an emotionally challenging, rough issue.

The irony? I am most definitely one of those people always encouraging others to seek help.

One big takeaway from the hour I spent with a professional is that, although a big part of my approach to most things interpersonal is “it’s not about me,” when I am hurt and sad about a relationship issue that feels broken and incomplete, my deeper (deepest) inner voice chimes in. It chimes in unpleasantly and brings things way down, playing on repeat the idea that “this must be about you [and whatever is wrong with you]”

We need help sometimes to come to terms with those deep inner voices.

Otherwise, trying to quiet them through avoidance is no help at all.

Five Minute Friday Comfort

Paula Kiger
Paula Kiger

Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.

Filed Under: Five Minute Friday Tagged With: Five Minute Friday Help

Previous Post: « FMF31 2018 Day 21: START
Next Post: FMF31 2018 Day 23: COMMON »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. HaraleeHaralee says

    October 22, 2018 at 10:07 am

    Well said!

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      October 22, 2018 at 11:38 am

      Thanks, Haralee! The act of writing by hand is such a different process. I think we would all possibly benefit from doing it more often.

      Reply
  2. elizabethhavey says

    October 22, 2018 at 2:41 pm

    Yes, you made a great point. And I admire you for doing this Free Writes. Every time I sit at the computer, I know something will happen, the question is what?

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      October 23, 2018 at 7:04 am

      Oh Elizabeth, I ask that question every. single. time. You just never know what’s going to come out!

      Reply
  3. Tara says

    October 22, 2018 at 10:46 pm

    I’m proud of our youth at our youth gathering who chose to tackle tough topics like suicide, mental health etc.

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      October 23, 2018 at 7:05 am

      I think doing so lays the groundwork for a healthier future for them — that’s awesome.

      Reply
  4. jsue says

    October 23, 2018 at 6:55 am

    Amen. Similar to when someone is ill or dies “let me know how I can help” is never what you are supposed to say; “I want to stop by next Wednesday and bring dinner” is what we should be saying or to a depressed friend “I will call you tomorrow at 8:00 p.m., so we can catch up.” Hard to do when we don’t know someone is hurting, and when you are hurting you CANNOT see the light or hear the help. xoxo

    Reply
    • Paula Kiger says

      October 23, 2018 at 7:05 am

      And this, my friend, is something you do exceptionally well.

      Reply

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