Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.”
Today’s prompt: NEED
I already did a five-minute free write this week that included the word “need.” I thought about using it for today, but I am choosing not to.
It was a piece I wrote on Medium, which is where I write when I don’t feel the message is “ready” for my “real blog” or I just need to vent.
The issue? My frustration with a family member who feels differently than I do about our choice to have Dad live with us for three years until he died in July. The family member hasn’t told me this directly, but I have heard it through others.
It was getting me worked up.
The thing is ……. as many other pivotal situations in my life have demonstrated:
THAT FAMILY MEMBER’S OPINION IS ABOUT THAT FAMILY MEMBER, NOT ME.
In choosing to give it energy, I am making it about what I perceive I need out of the situation. That family member’s opinion is exactly that: one person’s opinion.
I was the one with the privilege of caring for Dad for three years, with the challenges and (small) victories of meeting his needs.
Why do we so often feel the compulsion to change others’ opinions when the fact that they express them publicly really isn’t a volley of any kind on their part. It is the equivalent of them firing a blank.
(But writing that piece on Medium was still catharatic, I must say!)
That’s really all that needs to be said.
This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday linkup.
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
I am so glad you were able to take care of your Dad’s needs. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for commenting!
One of my colleagues taught me “the issue is never the issue.” The person is usually dealing with something completely different. Those words have helped me in many circumstances. I’m in the 44 spot this week.
That is SO very true.
Making decisions about a parent’s care as they age and can’t look after themselves is always difficult and brings up so many emotions/issues (I know, I’ve been there too). My heart goes out to you and your family member and I pray that God brings you both peace. Your FMF Neighbour #61
Thank you.