I saw a link to She took a day off to focus on mental health. Her CEO’s response has gone viral several times last week before I finally clicked on it. I had suspected, before I read the post, that I would love it. I did love it, but it also raised questions and generated dialogue among my Facebook friends beyond “wow that’s great.”
In summary, when Madalyn Parker advised her co-workers that she would be out of the office, she was transparent about the fact that she hoped the time off would help her cope with depression and return to work more focused and mentally healthy.
In a follow-up post, Parker’s boss, Ben Congleton, said this:
I cannot believe that it is still controversial to speak about mental health in the workplace when 1 in 6 americans are medicated for mental health.
Destigmatizing Mental Health
First, I agree with Parker and Congleton that mental health should be treated no differently than a physical ailment such as an infection or broken bone.
This infographic from Deloitte lays it out well:
My acquaintance Pauline said in a recent post about her mental health diagnoses:
The stigma that came with each diagnosis was reinforced by the fact that pretending everything was okay was the only option.
Policies about Leave Time are Inconsistent and Challenging
While Parker’s specific story resonated with me, a tweet about it on Twitter activated a different personal emotional hot spot. Here’s the tweet:
It didn’t hit a hot spot because of Cohen’s question/opinion, but it hit a hot spot because I worked for years at a place I loved, but a place which didn’t have separate sick leave vs personal leave for years (a split between the two types of leave was adopted eventually).
I suppose my breakdown of the issues related to how leave policies are defined would be something for a different post (or a human resources professional), but here are the immediate emotions/thoughts it unlocked.
When you have an “all the leave hours in one bucket” policy, you may be more likely to go to work sick because you want to save your leave time for either discretionary activities (like vacations) OR for your children’s illnesses, for maternity leave, or for obligations. An all-in-one policy is also somewhat unfair for people with children (who have to take off for their children’s illnesses), for people who may have more severe health issues who have to use that leave time for medical reasons and don’t get to take as much “fun” time off.
I know the above paragraph may not sound like it’s about mental health, but it certainly was for me. Once I spent all my leave time on maternity leave (the organization subsequently acquired short-term disability policies, which helped some), there was very little time left to take care of me.
More About Leave Time
It is so easy for us to get in a bubble about the topic of leave. One friend, who works in retail, said this:
I would never think of saying such a thing as that to my boss. At a previous job in retail, I learned that the ever-changing shift work was setting off so many triggers with my condition, I requested and received an ADA compensation that I have regularly set hours. The management were forced to meet the requirement but they gossiped about my diagnosis, and used it against me until the day I left. I can’t take that chance again.
This topic brought up so many other rapidly ricocheting thoughts in my brain.
I thought about all the enrollees’ families (mostly moms, but dads too) I talked to in two decades at Healthy Kids who could. not. leave. their. hourly wage jobs (many in retail, as my friend alludes to above) to take a child to the doctor (even if they had transportation), to take care of their own physical health (much less mental) without risking getting fired.
THEN, my mind went to the people I have met in Central America who would, I am pretty sure, just find it laughable, absolutely not an option, and downright hilarious that we worry about “having time off to center ourselves.” The ability to do something, ANYTHING, to earn enough to feed their family for the day, the walking for hours and having to fend off violence and shakedowns just to get, for example, fish to sell, is such a far cry from the experiences many of us here in America have.
My Personal Experiences
I mentioned above the effects of an all-in-one-bucket leave policy, but I also can truly and honestly say I have never taken a mental health day. That is not necessarily a good thing, but I haven’t.
I think one of the reasons I have never taken a mental health day is the fact that I was afraid I would never go back! Something about forcing myself to go to work, to push through, was a better strategy for ME (not for everyone). I wasn’t sure what a mental health day would do. I think I was afraid a day would turn into a week and I would fall farther down into whatever hole drew me to take one day off in the first place.
The Whole Person Matters
Last week, I wrote about the Ignatian-Jesuit concept of Cura Personalis, or “care for the whole person.” None of us are “just employees.” We bring so much more to work with us (and I must mention that approximately 40% of us are contingent workers, so we have even more vague boundaries than ever before).
If supervisors don’t recognize that mental health is integral to our well-being at work, and if we don’t learn to articulate what we need (and if workplace policies and government regulations don’t provide a safe space to do that), something will be lost.
Hopefully what’s lost won’t be our minds……
Editor’s Note: I shared this post with Ben Congleton (Madalyn’s boss) and here’s what he said (7/28/17) — I am inspired all over again:
Thank you for your kind words, and for continuing the conversation. I’ve been encouraged by the power that a simple act of gratitude has had to create more dialog around mental health in the workplace. It was Madalyn’s courage that made all this impact possible. I’ve been inspired by so many positive responses and I know there is more to do. I hope that my actions inspired more leaders to realize the impact they can have in their organizations.
I see a future where talking about mental health will be as easy and as normal as talking about the flu.
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.
This is so interesting. Gives me a lot to think about.
Paula Kiger (Big Green Pen) says
That was precisely the case with me, and why I had to “start somewhere” by getting these thoughts down.
I agree with you Paula. If you have or are an employee and need a day off, doesn’t it make sense that that is exactly what you need. Your productivity at work would be zip so ?? I used to work for a company that only had vacation time. If someone in your family died there was a formula. Parent, 2 days, inlaw, 1 day, sibling 1 day, inlaw sibling 0 days. Need more time, use your vacation days! The old, suck it up and get to work mentality.
Paula Kiger (Big Green Pen) says
Yes! There were so many other side ideas this post generated — many addressing “presenteeism” — and I’ll be the first to admit though I never took a “mental health day,” some of my emotional challenges (in my opinion) manifested themselves by my body being at work but my mind and heart being elsewhere.
The Hellion says
Yes, I saw “her story” on FB and IMHO we need to be able to take off when we need to take off…end of story…really… one day for a parent dying…or a sibling…that wasn’t enough for me….and employers need to recognize it isn’t a one size fits all thing….
Paula Kiger (Big Green Pen) says
Oh I hear you on the bereavement issues — and for us, although I was home to do the caregiving while working from home w/dealing with Wayne’s dad, I said many times I didn’t know how we would have done all the caregiving if we were both doing 8-5 traditional jobs.