Currently Happening In My Facebook World

I often laughingly tell people that Facebook highlights have become a steady stream of “isn’t my new grandchild beautiful?” (they always are) and “so sorry to announce that Fluffly has crossed the rainbow bridge” (always sad). We Facebook users are older and grayer than many other social media channels, and it frequently shows.

Prompted by Mama Kat, though, a look at six hot topics in my Facebook world proves there’s more to my Facebook family than birth announcements and goodbyes to beloved pets.

Our Embattled Health Care

While I recognize that the Affordable Care Act is flawed, I also firmly believe The American Health Care Act was in no way a suitable replacement.

Having worked for Florida Healthy Kids for almost 20 years, I became a diehard believer in the power of preventive care, in the potential that can be unlocked if someone thinks out of the box and people with the patience to slog through the mind-numbing details of crafting federal policy and budgets follow up.

This is one of the graphics I received via my fellow advocates at I Stand with Planned Parenthood yesterday and posted to my wall prior to the failure to repeal the Affordable Care Act:

Facebook Highlights

#StandWithPP is (quoting from them): “A group of social media influencers across platforms – from Twitter to YouTube to blogs – saying together #StandWithPP to ensure that women have access to health care services that range from cancer screenings to birth control.” To join, complete this form.

The Emergence of Female Political Candidates, Especially at the Local Level

When I pulled up the Emerge America site while looking for a stat to use about the number of women entering the political arena (especially local) in the wake of the presidential election, I wanted to act on every single action point of the #WhySheRuns effort to increase the number of women running for office (with the exception of running myself), such as sharing the graphic below immediately.

Facebook Highlights

My belief in the power of women to make a difference locally, at the state level, and nationally (as well as internationally) drove me to donate to my friend Nicolette’s campaign for a seat on the Orange County Commission.

While there are traditional still photos of Nicolette and her awesome family on her campaign Facebook page, this picture, to me, best represents what women can do these days to make a difference: talk to people. Explain how to be a part of government. Overcome fears, objections, inertia. Talk. To people.

Facebook Highlights

Nicolette hosts an advocacy training for the Lake Nona Democrats.

If Our Kids Become Our Parents

Alexandra Samuel posted this to Facebook the other day.

If you knew your kids were actually time travelers who will eventually go back in time and become your parents, how would that change your parenting?

Aaaaaaaaaand I freaked out. I have always said that I imagine I overcompensated in my parenting for the issues that I took to the therapist’s couch, and I imagine that overcompensation in itself will give my kids plenty of material for their own therapeutic relationships.

It’s probably unfair to my kids to delve too deeply into this. For starters, I suspect Tenley would create a much more orderly, clean, environment in which I as a daughter would wear  more monograms and less “wow! doesn’t this quirky piece from Goodwill make you feel unique?” items. With Wayne Kevin as a parent, no one would get all worked up about the thousand and one administrative details of life; we would be too glued to YouTube.

Why Neal’s Mom Should Pay $120 For Great Tennis Shoes

My Facebook friend Neil Kramer asked Facebook Nation for help convincing his mom to indulge in proper footwear:

Please tell my mother that she deserves $120 New Balance sneakers if they are good for her feet.

Sounds like Neil’s mom is has a vein of the same self-sacrificing, frugal constitution that my parents have. $120 is, sadly, run of the mill for proper walking shoes these days. Honestly, if I had $120 I would have shipped them to her the minute I saw the post. I suspect the issue isn’t having the $120 to spend but her aversion to spending it “gasp!” ON SHOES.

Just do it, Neil’s Mom. I am sure you deserve it. As I told Neil, go to RoadrunnerSports.Com, and get a special deal on day one of visiting the website ($25 off a $75 or more order) as well as the option of their 90-day return policy, where you can return shoes no matter how worn within 90 days if they don’t work out (for credit toward another pair of shoes). We have tested this feature out and they mean it!

Editor’s Note: Neil’s mom got shoes! She got Nikes instead of New Balance but all reports say she is pleased with her purchase. In other news, Neil has now gone down the podiatry rabbit hole and “plantar fasciitis” is in his vocabulary (as well as words like “pronation“). He may never be the same! 

Why Everything About Everything Bagels is Awesome

In addition to his plea for help convincing his mom to take care of her feet, Neil posted this (titled “remains of everything bagel”):

Facebook Highlights

Which brought out ALL the “everything bagel” lovers on Facebook (me included). In addition to the wonders of the everything bagel (they’re best eaten in one of the five boroughs, to be specific, but those of us not currently in NYC have to do the best we can), we discussed:

And guess what I had for breakfast today?

Disney

Since I wrote about Disney last Sunday, am still coming down from the high of spending a few days there last week, have lots of young friends doing the Disney College Program, and in general have many friends going to Disney right now (maybe spring break has something to do with it), there’s a lot of Disney on my Facebook feed and I’m okay with that!

Facebook Highlights

How about you? How is Facebook edifying (or annoying) you lately?

Facebook Highlights

National Family Caregivers Month #BeKindToCaregivers

Back in the spring, when my father-in-law was at the Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center every day for weeks as he got radiation treatment for throat cancer, one little tiny “treat” I looked forward to each day was taking a puffy peppermint candy from one of the ubiquitous candy containers placed strategically throughout the center. I always took it a little surreptitiously, grabbing it one-handed and somehow slipping it out of the wrapper and into my mouth while simultaneously pushing a wheelchair (because if there’s anything mothers of young children and caregivers of elderly people learn, it’s how to do multiple tasks despite highly occupied hands!). Such a small thing, but a tiny moment in each trip which felt like “mine.”

Who Is Doing All This Caregiving?

There are 40 million unpaid caregivers in the U.S. Many caregivers, like me, are boomer women, often sandwiched between the needs of their parents and their own kids. A popular misconception is that caregivers are paid medical professionals, providing full-time care to someone in need of daily help, when in reality, most caregivers are family members or friends who are also working and managing their own families at the same time.

For many, the caregiving role starts with simple things like scheduling a doctor’s visit or helping with daily errands, but gradually expands over time, until it becomes a major commitment in their lives. For our family, everything changed in June 2014 when my father-in-law was hospitalized for a subdural hematoma which occurred when he fell. Returning to living alone (even with the amount of support we had been providing with daily visits) was out of the question.

This video describes some of the challenges faced by unpaid family caregivers:

Almost three in ten people who are caring for someone say their life has changed with caregiving, oftentimes for the negative. More than one in five say their weight, their exercise, or their social life has/have suffered.  Emotionally, one in five say they are generally unhappier and one in three say they feel sad or depressed.  That’s why AARP created a community where caregivers can connect with experts and other caregivers and can find information and tools to take even better care of the person who once took care of them.

Candid disclosure: I participated in the National Family Caregivers campaign last year, promoted the benefits of the AARP Community, and wrote how I would be “digging in.” I have not dug in. One of the biggest challenges of this caregiver life, to me, is the fact that there are lots of great resources out there, but it takes time to track them down and research them. It feels like a catch-22.

How You Can Help

There is something that you can do during National Family Caregivers month to support a caregiver in your life. On behalf of the Ad Council and AARP I am asking for your support in helping to raise awareness of the Caregiver Assistance campaign through the Random Acts of Kindness for Caregivers initiative which aims to recognize and support unpaid caregivers in the U.S. The initiative, which is kicking off this month, encourages all Americans to perform an unexpected “Random Act of Kindness” for a caregiver. By starting a nationwide movement, we’ll raise awareness of caregiving and caregivers while at the same time reaching caregivers directly—helping to alleviate some of their daily stresses and reward them for their ongoing support.

I’m going to share what I did, because if it brightens the recipients’ days even a quarter of how it brightened mine to do it, then brightness will abound!!!

One Idea

As I tried to decide what to do, several ideas floated through my mind. I thought about my fellow caregivers I passed going to and from treatment at the Tallahassee Memorial Cancer Center, about how I could possibly sit in the parking lot, wait until they had taken their patient in, then sneak a note and small gift onto their car. But, being a caregiver myself, I have to be a little strategic about when I can leave the house and I wasn’t sure how much time all that stalking would take (I’m also really bad at being sneaky!).

I contacted our local Elder Day Stay (candid disclosure #2: contacting Elder Day Stay to explore it as an option for my situation has been on my list too, one of those “when can I find time to do this?” things so I was killing two birds with one email stone.) Vicky from Elder Day Stay was such a delight to exchange ideas with. After thinking through the kinds of things my experience as a caregiver led me to believe they would like, I chose these items to include in goodie bags to be distributed to caregivers at pickup from Elder Day Stay:

Recognizing Family Caregivers

A Sharpie because a) I love Sharpies and b) a Sharpie was a great fit for the verse I had planned. (It turns out the caregivers at Elder Day Stay have to mark the participants’ belongings with Sharpie so this was a win-win for all!).

Recognizing Family Caregivers

A fragrant hand sanitizer because one of the universal truths of caregiving appears to be: bodily functions will always be involved. I want them to at least have a sweet smell to mitigate the less fragrant aromas. I love the “give thanks” sentiment! Once Cam and Shanelle at the Governor’s Square Bath and Body Works learned what I was doing, they gave me 30 bags and 30 pre-cut ribbons to use for these treats, as well as fantastic attitudes! I am grateful.

Recognizing Family Caregivers

A chocolate bar because a) these caregivers deserve a treat and b) I needed a bar of some kind to fit in with the verse I had planned. I thought about getting something healthy (protein bar, fiber, blah blah blah) however I wanted these people to have a small but decadent treat!

I wrapped it all up with this verse, with information about the AARP Caregiver Support site included:

Recognizing Family Caregivers

Here’s the final:

Recognizing Family Caregivers

Recognizing Family Caregivers

Whose Day Can YOU Make?

Is there someone in your life or community who is serving as a caregiver that you can do something nice for? It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, just a small gesture that makes a caregiver’s life a little easier.

After you choose (and do!) your random act of kindness for a caregiver, please share your story with AARP. If you submit a 150 word or less summary of how you made a caregiver feel special along with a photo, you’ll be entered to win a cash prize from a $10,000 pot. (Note: the contest lasts through March 15, 2016, but Thanksgiving would be the perfect time to get the random act of kindness ball rolling!).

You could make the tiny bit of “me time” difference those Cancer Center mints provided me!

Recognizing Family Caregivers

Recognizing Family Caregivers

This is a sponsored post on behalf of Element Associates and Midlife Boulevard.