I was inspired to prepare this piece based on a post called “Confessions: Things I’ve Never Done” from Andrea of Living on Cloud Nine. We share so many “nevers” in common, for a portion of this post I kept her “nevers” and added my commentary. I’ll throw a few more original-to-me ones on at the end.
Seen an episode of The Bachelor (Andrea’s)
Unlike Andrea, I have seen several episodes of The Bachelor
but I have never been a die-hard. I have to admit Twitter during The Bachelor
is really fun though! (Jennifer Weiner’s
Bachelor tweets were especially hilarious before she broke up with the show
(thanks, Donald Trump.)
And fun side note: my daughter’s name (Tenley) had a brief popularity spike when there was a contestant on the show named Tenley (Tenley Molzahn — check her out at Tenley’s Sweet & Free Life
Can’t say I’ve never had stitches (hello, childbirth).
Had a broken bone (Andrea’s)
I hate to jinx things by leaving this “never” here but, no.
Been in a Semi Truck (Andrea’s)
Funny/quirky that this was on Andrea’s list but …. I haven’t either!
Gone swimming under water (Andrea’s)
Yes, I’ve been swimming underwater.
Been on a Jet Ski or Water Skis (Andrea’s)
No to the jet ski, yes to the water skis. I have vivid memories of the friends who taught me to ski — I failed many times before finally staying up, and remember so clearly the key to success: staying “down” in a seated position longer than expected — until we were making progress — and then standing up. Not standing up prematurely before the boat had sufficiently pulled me into position. Kind of a great metaphor for life too.
Eaten Brussels Sprouts, Caviar, Eggs Benedict, Oysters, SpaghettiOs or a Big Mac (Andrea’s)
I need to cook Andrea some brussels sprouts (a fave!). I can check all of these off my list.
Joined Facebook or Instagram (Andrea’s)
(From Paula) I am never going to be able to escape Cal Newport (I wrote about his positive impact on my thoughts about attention span here and here, and my disagreement with his anti-social media stance here.) He impacted one of Andrea’s “never” answers (see below).
(Andrea’s original answer) I simply cannot do all Social Media and work and have a blog and raise a family. A couple outlets have to get sacrificed. Now while I admit I am probably missing out a little not having an insta, and you’re probably all gonna tell me that, lol, not having a FB is 110% fine by me. I read an article why one guy
[Cal Newport] refused to join HERE and even had others try to argue why he should HERE and his stance remained the same.
Been inside a Costco (Andrea’s)
Me either! How is that?!
Been on a Cruise (Andrea’s)
Nor have I . Andrea says it’s not for her at all, but I would love to go on a cruise.
Been to a Circus (Andrea’s)
Yes! I’ve been to the circus! While I’m glad so many measures have been taken to protect mistreated animals, I’m still a circus fan, especially the Florida State University Flying High Circus.
Taken My Kids to Disney World (Andrea’s)
It wasn’t a BIG part of my children’s childhoods but yes, they’ve been. Tenley loved it so much she went to work there (for a few months as part of the Disney College Program). This picture is from our visit to her while she was in the program.
Gotten a Tattoo (Andrea’s)
I haven’t done this either, and in most respects it isn’t my thing. However, I do love the idea of a semicolon (to reflect suicide awareness as inspired by Project Semicolon
). If you are here in Tallahassee, come to No Regrets Tattoos on 4/9/17 from 12-7 p.m., and either get a semicolon tattoo or draw one on yourself with Sharpie
. No Regrets is donating 50% of the proceeds for all semicolon tattoos to NAMI Tallahassee
, which provides support, advocacy, education, and research for people with mental illness, their families and friends.
Plucked My Eyebrows (Andrea’s)
Yes, I’ve done this, although I get them waxed now instead of plucking. If you read this post
, you know the waxing process doesn’t always go smoothly!
Worn False Eyelashes (Andrea’s)
Nope. I haven’t either and don’t foresee a time when I will.
Now that I’ve worked through Andrea’s list, here are a few of my own:
Won a Grads Made Good Award
I have always admired the winners of the Omicron Delta Kappa Grads Made Good award at FSU, such as author Diane Roberts, retired astronaut Winston Scott, and Sister Michelle Carroll. It feels funny writing this because I could frame it as “I’m only 52 — that may be midlife but by golly I’m going to go out and write that book, create that world-changing social media campaign, or achieve that transcendent feat that earns me a nomination” but I just don’t see it happening (I probably also have dug my political grave in a few ways with the kind of people who make the Grads Made Good decisions, even if I solved World Hunger tomorrow.)
I remind myself that there are accomplishments in life for which there isn’t a cool batik award (I don’t know if they still do, but winners used to be given a hand painted batik likeness of themselves) and public notoriety, like raising two children and caregiving an elder through severe memory loss and terminal cancer. That matters too.
I particularly remember the 1996 Grads Made Good ceremony, when Wayne and I got a babysitter for a months-old Tenley and attended the breakfast. One of the honorees was Cliff Freeman, who created the Little Caesars “Pizza Pizza” campaign
. Judging by this 2009 article
about Mr. Freeman’s agency’s difficulty navigating a changed advertising landscape, success can be fleeting; perhaps I should be inspired to keep trying yet reassure myself that no award guarantees continued accolades.
Gone to Europe
I checked “international travel” off when I went to Guatemala in 2011 with Tenley. However, my dream international trip is to Valencia, Spain. That’s more likely to happen than winning a Grads Made Good Award.
Driven a Manual Transmission Car
While it isn’t technically true that I haven’t driven a manual transmission car, I surely have not mastered the skill. I did drive to Publix once, with Wayne talking me through it from the passenger seat, but I stalled out once and definitely could not have done it solo. This is a problem because the best car in the family right now is the one that has a manual transmission. I know once I master it I’ll wonder what all my anxiety was about but I’m not there yet.
Honorable Mentions: Are “honorable mentions” even a thing for a blog post like this? They are today, because explaining each one is a blog post in itself, which I don’t want to dig that deeply into right now, but they are tugging at me enough to deserve mention:
- Never became a doctor
- Never became fully Spanish/English bilingual (yet!)
- Never binge-watched anything streaming (yet)
- Never jumped out of an airplane (never will)
How about you? What’s on your “I never have” list?
Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many. My pronouns are she/her/hers.