The Other F Word: A Show For Those of Us Who “Filled Out All the Forms”

I am famous among my friends for not having binge-watched anything. When we finally got a Netflix-enabled tv in our bedroom, I started Orange is the New Black (and made it through two episodes).

The Other F Word is the exception, though! I watched all of Season 1 (read my blog here) and — today– fit all of Season 2 into one afternoon! Woo hoo!

Before my observations, here’s the trailer so you get a sense of who we are talking about:

What Is The Other F Word?

This is a series that extends beyond young people and caricatures to represent life for people whose age corresponds to “the other ‘F’ word” – forties, fifties, etc.

It’s a little hard to talk in detail about the six episodes without inadvertently giving away spoilers, so I decided to share ten aspects of the series that stood out to me. I hope they encourage you to watch too!

The Music

I loved the music! I especially was besotted quickly by “It’s Just Me” by James Madx. (Listen here.) Here are the lyrics that especially spoke to me:

“Open your heart  …. and let me start to be a part of your story.”

So many of us in mid-life are seeing our stories re-written, either by fate or by choice. This song spoke to that, in my perception.

Being the Mom Who Filled Out All the Forms

It’s not a spoiler to say that one character, Amy, finds herself at a loss after both children have moved out (oh, and her husband chose to manifest his mid-life crisis by spontaneously deciding to quit his job and go to humanitarian work overseas for a year.)

“I filled out so many forms,” she says.

Me too, sister, me too.What to do now that there are less forms to complete and there’s still more life to live?

Dealing With Elderly Parents

One character (Orly) is having to cope with her parent’s obvious decline (long distance). Yep, been there done that (the decline part, not so much the long distance part).

Big big big props to The Other F Word for including the dilemmas we face when our parents age.

*** AND (oh my gosh) …. Holly Cate, who plays Orly, was Janice on As the World Turns, which my mom (and then I) watched for decades. Thanks for mentioning that, IMDb! ***

Dealing with Kids’ Crises

College-age daughter with a crisis? Check! College-age daughter who is over said crisis by the next conversation (after hours of mom futilely texting to see if she’s okay)? Check. Check. Check.

Most parents who have ever raised a college-aged child can relate to the realistic scenarios depicted in this show.

Passion Parties

I have never been to a “Passion Party” but this one looked fun!

The Gynecologist

This is such a micro thing but my goodness, Orly’s gynecologist has amazing delts!

(She also assumes Orly needs a perimenopause box …. you really need to watch all the episodes to see what the doctor can give her that will better suit her situation.)

BC/AD

These are character David’s way to characterize life milestones: “Before Children” and “After Divorce.”

Sounds typical for midlife.

About our intimacy choices:

You know, my life experience is pretty vanilla in some ways about the choices I have made. Still, I loved this line and understood (intellectually at least, LOL), the conundrum:

Since sex got easier, love got harder to find.

You know a show is a little edgy if you have to look at least one thing up in the Urban Dictionary!

Again, maybe this hearkens back to my vanilla life (but remember I had some pretty racy conversations as a counselor on the Florida AIDS Hotline back in the day).

There was one term in the six episodes I had to look up in the Urban Dictionary.

(Find out what term it was by clicking here. Did you already know what this meant? Be honest!).

When is it the wrong time to reinvent yourself?

One of the parents (at least) is a *bit* overbearing (think Tiger Mom). When her daughter starts to waver regarding her desire to keep doing crew (the activity that is ostensibly going to fund her college education), mom nearly goes off the deep end. What does she say?

“It’s way too late to reinvent yourself.”

The hilarity of saying this to a teenager is not lost on me. BUT, I spent my share of time being an overbearing gym mom with visions of college scholarships dancing in my head. I can see saying something so outlandish (or I could see pre-perspective crazed gym mom Paula saying it).

Those of us in our forties and fifties though? I vote for as much reinvention as we see fit!

Is there an “F” word for reinvention?

How about FUNDAMENTAL? Fundamental to this time in our lives, fundamental to our souls, and, occasionally, downright FUN!

Want to find out for yourself?

Click here to watch!!

Midlife Reinvention

 

A Series for Women Like Me: The Other F Word

Midlife Women

This post is sponsored by “The Other F Word.” All opinions are my own.

It’s official. I have now watched my first Amazon Streaming series. It’s a running joke among my friends, and documented in my Spin Sucks inquisition, that I am a streaming video late adopter. Very late. But there’s hope, and in this case hope begins with an “F word.”

The Other F Word

I was recently introduced to The Other F Word, a comedic coming-of-age series about four women friends who deal with the highs and lows of mid-life as they reinvent themselves now that their kids are grown. In this case, the other F word(s) are “Forty” and “Fifty.”

Midlife Isn’t What I Thought It Would Be

One sentiment throughout this series is one I keep thinking about as I forge ahead into my 50s: this isn’t exactly what I thought life would be at this point. Not that I’m not grateful, but reality has a way of throwing curveballs at you. The women of The Other F Word get their own curveballs, including:

  • A husband who dies at his wife’s skydiving 50th birthday party
  • A husband who says “you may need to get a REAL job now, and I don’t mean Pampered Chef”
  • A husband who suddenly decides to leave his job (and his country) to do Peace Corps-type work abroad for a year

This Series is Relatable

The entertainment industry’s track record on diversity has not been stellar (click here for an example about lack of diversity in television). Creator Caytha Jentis started down the path to bringing The Other F Word to life when she asked, “why are there no tv shows about us?” She’s right! (Hear more from Caytha in this Writer/Director statement.)

I love how the character Amy has actual laugh lines on her face. As a fellow midlifer, I see beauty in those laugh lines, not lack of attractiveness. She’s like me: imperfect but trying to figure life out.

I love how the characters’ children act like the college-age children I know. They love sentimental actions (like Amy cooking her special chicken parm for her son and his roommate). They ask for money. They have jobs we don’t understand (social solutionist anyone?). The version of their relationship truth they tell about their love lives is, um, “sanitized” for parental ears.

I’m not sure the college age children would have a clue what goes on with mom (and dad) when the chicken parm congeals and the “bills” to pay the rent that came to fast are spent. Watch Episode 8 where Amy, Orly, Trish, and Diane play “never have I ever” and you’ll see what I mean!

The Other F Word Trailer from The Other F Word on Vimeo.

This series is real …. about the emotions we feel and the consequences we face in our forties and fifties. Marry your college boyfriend and stay home with the kids? Your monogamous faithfulness and dedication may leave you lonely and unprepared for the request “well show me your CV if you need help finding a job.” Choose to get involved with a much-younger man in a relationship “with a shelf life” and you may find yourself without a suitable “plus one” at a theatre industry function. These women laugh, drink, nurture, write, create, earn, cry, take risks, have sex, and through it all manage to face their fears and have fun.

Find The Other F Word For Yourself!

You can watch all eight episodes on Amazon by clicking this link.

Visit the website of The Other F Word by clicking here:

Find The Other F Word on Facebook here.

Tweet With The Other F Word’s team on Twitter here.

What Is YOUR Midlife F Word?

Forties.

Fifties.

Is there an “F” word you would associate with your life currently?

This series combines “fun” and “fear” (as in, overcoming it), “friendship,” and “fur” (there’s a dog, Max …. he’s really cute and plays a pivotal role!).

For me, the “F” word of my fifties may in fact be “fragmented” – as a wife, mom, friend, worker, volunteer, and caregiver for my father in law, it rarely feels like I have it all together. Thanks, The Other F Word, for four new relatable friends!

Midlife Women

Trish is mirroring her daughter’s coursework to “help” her. My kids don’t need to get any ideas from this!