12 Things I Would Do If I Didn’t Have to Work

Imagine this! Your life fairy godmother just waved her wand and *poof!* you can do whatever the heck you want to do with your time.

What do you choose?

Mama Kat suggested we blog about “10 things you would do if you didn’t have to work.” Before sharing my list, I must add two caveats:

First: I love working. There have certainly been things throughout my career that I did not love and did not do to the fullest of my capabilities, but in general I value being part of a team, contributing to a goal, making a difference. If I won the lottery, I suspect I would keep working in some capacity, but I would take advantage of the windfall to fit in a heck of a lot more of the things I am about to list.

Second: Up until May 2014, when I left Healthy Kids, I had always worked full time (with tiny breaks when I moved back to Tallahassee from NYC and my two maternity leaves). The whole time, I thought “I don’t know how I’m fitting this all in” and almost always felt like I wasn’t giving anything 100% because I was split so many ways.

Having been out of the traditional work force for three years, I can attest that (at least for me) it is true that “people who have the most to do get the most done.” When your day is unstructured, it takes an iron will to whip it into some kind of order. If I did not actually have to work, I absolutely know I would need to have some type of structure (probably in the form of work!) to keep myself together and prevent inertia. (This is why taking on a structured part-time job in January 2017 that, although it is done from home, requires my full attention from 6:45 am to 12:30 pm every day was a game changer.)

Here is my list of 10 (plus two bonuses), in relatively random order (paging Fairy Godmother STAT!):

Travel to Valencia, Spain

I took a Spanish course in college that was far above my fluency level. Ironically, I learned so much from this class — from being forced to keep up with a group composed mostly of native speakers. I am not sure exactly what it was, but something about Valencia piqued my curiosity and ignited a desire that has been in my gut for decades.

Personal Life Goals

Picture me here! That’s what I’m doing. Credit: Flickr user Bruno.

A Spanish Immersion Program

Perhaps this should be in the number one slot (but I would be willing to muddle through a trip to Valencia with my less-than-advanced Spanish!). No matter how many courses I take and how much practice I get locally, nothing replaces having to live with a language for its usefulness to language learning.

More Yoga

Arguably, I could do more  yoga starting … NOW! The minute I finish this blog post. But my list for today (besides the fact that there may well be a Category 3 Hurricane here within 48 hours) is lengthy. I have been to yoga once in the past six months, and I have missed its benefits … for my body as well as my mind. I’d love to buy an “unlimited” yoga card and use it without my mind reeling from the 1,001 other things I should be doing.

Personal Life Goals

More Aggressively Pursue Options for My Tachycardia

If you have been a reader for a while, you may be aware that I have multifocal atrial tachycardia, mostly exercise-induced.

Victor Martinez of the Detroit Tigers apparently has a similar problem (he has atrial fibrillation, which is worse (relatively) than my MAT). He is scheduled to have an ablation, and I hope it works (I was not a candidate for an ablation after my electrophysiology study in April 2015). It’s important to keep in mind what Terry Francona, the Cleveland Indians manager, who also had an ablation, said: “You’re talking about life, not just baseball.”

What would I do differently about my medical situation if I didn’t have to work? (Caveat: I’m sort of assuming that along with her dispensation allowing me not work, the Fairy Godmother gives me a bit of a blank check!).

My tachycardia issue has gone far past interfering solely with my running at this point. I need to find a solution.

The nurse practitioner at my appointment yesterday scheduled me for another check in four months and said, “you know, another EP study wouldn’t be the end of the world; the circumstances that prevented an ablation before may have gone away by now.” She’s right, but I hesitate to take the time off from work (the gig economy doesn’t come with medical leave).

But there are some additional avenues I have hesitated to follow. A friend with extensive personal experience has urged me (strongly) to get a second opinion from the Cleveland Clinic. She is right (and to be fair, my electrophysiologist said he would help me pursue a second opinion if it was important to me), but I hesitate, wary of the long list of diagnostics I need to send them and the price tag. Ironically, I would (and have) advocate to any friend to be their own strongest advocate for their health.

The past year of not running has (in some very small ways) revealed some qualities about life I had been missing (hello, Saturday mornings!), but good golly I miss running. I miss exercise endorphins. I miss my running community.

Clean My House

Yes, I have written before (as recently as last week) that I know myself well enough to know I need help to overcome my housecleaning inadequacies. BUT with a little extra time, I think I could master the basics.

Help at a Public School

In my mind’s eye, this means reading with elementary school kids, but I imagine there are some middle schools and high schools that could also use a caring adult to pitch in. There’s so much work to do — teachers are stretched frightfully thin and I would love to help relieve some of the stress.

Be a Hospice and/or Alzheimer’s Association Volunteer

This one is inspired by our recent experience and the ways volunteers made the process of navigating terminal illness with a loved one more bearable. I know in our area, the outlying counties beyond Leon are more stretched for volunteers; I would be willing to drive quite a ways if it would help a family be a hair less stressed.

Go to New York City Much More Frequently

Best case scenario: I have a tiny, but safe, studio in New York that is available to me year-round and I use it. I could go with an annual two-week stay or briefer, quarterly stays. I need NYC far more often than I get it.

Take a Cruise

I’ve never been on a cruise and would love to check this off my list! I’m not too picky about which line (although Disney Cruise Lines would be extra-magical!) or where I go. I just want to be able to chime in to cruise conversations with some experiences of my own.

Spend Time at the Beach

When we went to Daytona Beach earlier this month to help Wayne Kevin with arrangements regarding school, we had dinner at the beach both nights we were there. I only got a quick glance at the sea, a few moments on the sand, but even that little bit of time was restorative.

Personal Life Goals

Write More Letters

It’s no secret that I love snail mail but I send out far fewer letters than I would like. I would especially love to send out “just because” notes.

Travel to Australia

I have relatives in Australia; visiting them (and the country) would be a dream! Not sure what I would do first, or what my priority would be, but three top contenders would be to see the Sydney Opera House, to visit New South Wales (I know this is a broad desire!), and to visit something well off the beaten tourist path (I have plenty of time to come up with a plan on that).

YOUR TURN

What would you do if you didn’t have to work?

Personal Life Goals

This post is a response to a Mama’s Losin’ It prompt: 10 things you would do if you didn’t have to work.

Until Alzheimers is Cured, Let’s Do This

When we prepared Wayne’s dad’s obituary, we designated Big Bend Hospice for donations. BBH definitely deserved this prominent place, and has earned any and all donations people choose to give.

However, another cause that merits attention is Alzheimers Disease. Although Dad didn’t technically have Alzheimers, his short-term memory and cognition were sufficiently impaired that he qualified for the services of our local (and awesome!) Alzheimers Project here in Tallahassee.

Our Experience

Because Dad had experienced several mini-strokes in 2012, his short-term memory was affected. (Note: This dry sentence doesn’t really begin to address what that meant in reality, as it played out in our day-to-day lives.)

This is a bit of a layperson explanation, but he had difficulty remembering events or details that had just transpired, while it was often easier to recall long-term memories. He would ask, for example, if something we were watching (that was obviously (to us anyway) a film) was occurring live. He asked my husband Wayne if he was married (sigh….).

Things changed about the way he processed the world. He didn’t care about personal hygiene. His laugh wasn’t a humorous laugh — it was a haunting expression that always unnerved me — and I could never just put it in some category of “that’s because of his condition.” I am sorry to say that almost to the very end I was sniping back “that’s not funny” and slamming doors (often over the all-too-frequent cat escapes that he facilitated).

Most importantly (and this is a mixed bag), his memory deficits prevented him (I think) from really comprehending how sick he was. Melanie, our incredible social worker, said “that’s probably a blessing” and she was right, to a degree, but I always felt it must be scary as he** for him to see all of us buzzing around, acquiring equipment, administering medication, transforming his room with a hospital bed, for reasons he couldn’t figure out.

Alzheimer’s and dementia are different for everyone, but the challenges are numerous and share common threads, both for the patient who doesn’t fully comprehend the path their life has taken and for the caregiver trying to be compassionate without losing their own mind.

The Alzheimers Project has many services (free), including support groups, respite services, counseling and more. I tell everyone to go to support groups (although (cough cough) I never made it to one. But we did get so much benefit out of the respite care, where an Americorps volunteer comes to the home to care for the patient for a few hours each week. Thanks to respite care, I was able to work, nap, and run errands (and Dad was able to interact with someone new). They were godsends. Here is Alex, who was with us almost until he passed away.

Alzheimers Advocacy

(Note, to read more about the role of Fordham Afghan pictured here in our lives, please click this link.)

Ways To Support Alzheimers Efforts

Like I said in the beginning of this post, it is important to me that the world know how much benefit we received from our local Alzheimer’s Project, and how much we want other families with Alzheimers (and similar issues) to receive support, along with our hope that research will eliminate this terrible disease. If you are a family dealing with Alzheimers, call their hotline 24/7 at 1.800.272.3900 or visit their website by clicking here

If you aren’t currently personally dealing with Alzheimers, but still want to help

Buy a Rivet Revolution Product

Rivet Revolution sells beautiful handcrafted jewelry and donates $10 from each purchase to three Alzheimers-related causes: Part the Cloud, Hilarity for Charity, and The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement. Here is mine; isn’t it beautiful?

Alzheimers Advocacy

Rivet Revolution notes these facts among the reasons why they feel so strongly about ending Alzheimers (besides the fact that each of the three founders has a personal connection to the disease).

  • One in 10 people age 65 and older (10 percent) has Alzheimer’s dementia
  • Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer’s are women
  • Alzheimer’s Disease is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States
  • Every 66 seconds someone in the United States develops the disease
  • More than 44 million people worldwide suffer from Alzheimer’s

Do Charity Miles for the Alzheimers Association

Did you know you can walk, run or bike and help the Alzheimers Association earn funding just by using the Charity Miles app?

Here’s a memory from some Charity Miles I did last year (which seems like a lifetime ago for many reasons).

Alzheimers Advocacy

If You’re in Tallahassee, PARTY!

Seriously, if you’ve never been to Parrothead Phrenzy (it’s coming up on August 26!) or Purple Craze (This year’s has already happened but I imagine there will be a 2018 event), you’re missing out! These events help the Alzheimers Project and show you a great time while you’re at it!

Donate

There’s always the option of straightforward donations! To donate to the Tallahassee Alzheimers Project, click here (a donation as small as $2.50 can provide a replacement band for a Project Lifesaver bracelet). On a more national level, you can donate to the Alzheimers Association here.

Think About Your Words

Although I have my definite (and many, and very strongly held) opinions about our current president, it unnerves me to hear people diagnosing him on the basis of his tweets and behaviors. To me, it dilutes the specificity with which we need to address Alzheimers and related dementia conditions. Let’s be deliberate with the words we use; actual patients are paying a price every day for something that didn’t get diagnosed by strangers second-guessing.

Lastly, a word from Maria Shriver…

Alzheimers Advocacy

Note: I was provided a complimentary Rivet Revolution bracelet.All opinions, though are my own and I will be at the absolute front of the line to do be a part of eradicating Alzheimer’s. 

My Caregiver Wish List

This year, my children’s Christmas lists were, like my children, very different from each other. My daughter’s list was detailed, with a key explaining which items needed to be ordered online and which could be purchased in town. She started the list with a lovely statement about her gratitude to us as parents and helpfully provided direct links to products to save me time (and make sure I ordered the right thing).

My son? I’m still waiting for any kind of list. There have been a few verbal requests, and he has put two items in my Amazon cart, but that’s it.

Caregiving Challenges

Me? If I were to get an opportunity to tell Santa what I really want, my request would probably focus on what I really need as a caregiver:

A Game Plan

When dad moved in with us at the end of May 2014, everything happened rapidly. He had been living by himself (with significant help from us in the form of multiple visits daily to ensure medication compliance, etc.), he sustained a subdural hematoma from a fall and Wayne felt it was critical for him to live with us. He threatened to sign himself out of the rehab hospital, and next thing we knew it he was living with us.

Santa, it’s a little late for us, but if you run across any families who may be on the verge of taking on the task of caregiving, tell them to pour some hot cocoa and get on the same page. They won’t regret it. Caregiving works best when it is a joint family decision, not a situation you back into by necessity.

A Housekeeper

As I have written about here, and as anyone who steps foot in my house knows, housekeeping is not my forte. I am not proud of this, and am always trying to improve, but it doesn’t get any easier when you add the component of an elderly relative with self care challenges. In addition, we are almost always home; the wear and tear on the house is brutal.

If you really want to delight me, Santa, tuck a housekeeper or two in that sleigh and deploy them weekly (or even monthly), at least to the one bathroom in the house none of us can bear to go into anymore.

An Elf Who Specializes in Home Mobility Adaptations

There are so many of our home components that need to be adapted for Dad to be safer (and us to have more peace of mind): the toilet seat needs to be raised, the throw rugs need to be removed (because they are tripping hazards), there need to be grab bars multiple places in the bathroom. We need a shower chair. Some of these things are easy to do (and affordable enough). Some are “bigger” modifications. But they all take time and planning.

Santa, a grab bar may not be very festive but the prospect of peace of mind from less worry of falls is pretty darn merry.

A Train of Thought

While a trip on the Polar Express sounds charming, what I really need this year is for my own personal train of thought to make it from the home station to the destination depot without multiple unplanned detours along the way. Without a sprint to the bathroom when I hear the sounds I’ve come to know as impending instability. Without a request to turn the tv up (again).

Santa, all I want for Christmas is to to be able to remember where I put the ………

The Ability to Go to the Bathroom Worry-Free

You know how infants always seem to get fussy when you sit down to eat? There’s a similar principle with the elderly: close the bathroom door to do your business and the “get up too fast/get dizzy/find yourself at risk of falling” cycle activates. It’s UNCANNY. I’m not sure what the cumulative effects are of always being worried, but I know they aren’t health boosters.

Four minutes, Santa. Four. Worry. Free. Minutes so I don’t have to ho ho hold it.

Infinite Copies of the Meds List

I have written the Dad’s meds list by hand approximately 2,435 times in 2.5 years. Okay, maybe not that many but it feels like it! I do know that there are apps for this kind of thing, but I haven’t started using one yet. You would think, in this era of Electronic Health Information, that this would all be in the cloud. Right? I can attest that the last thing on your mind when you arrive at the ER after a fall is having a hard copy of the meds list.

In addition to these infinite meds list copies, Santa, they need to magically revise themselves when something changes. While we’re at it, this magical nothing-critical-is-ever-forgotten world will also make his insurance cards, social security card, and ID card magically appear when needed, rather than being at home where they are not helping anyone.

A Visit by the Mobile DMV

Spoiler: There isn’t a mobile DMV. But this is my list and Santa’s my benevolent all-giving fantasy guy right now so let me go with it. It didn’t seem like a big deal when Dad’s driver’s license expired, but then there was the document we needed to have notarized, with an ID for proof of identity, there was voting (he voted absentee but in general, it could have been requested at the polls), and there will be other life events.

Santa, if there isn’t a mobile DMV, can you and the elves come over and help with the arduous process of getting him dressed, to the car safely, out of the car at the DMV, tolerating the line, understanding the instructions he is being given in order to have a valid State of Florida ID. Please?

Unlimited Legal Assistance

Growing old, even if your life is relatively uncomplicated, brings with it the need to get legal affairs in order. Power of attorney, a medical representative, DNR orders (if you choose to have a DNR order), a will, and a host of other legal matters that need to be put in place. That doesn’t happen for free, and it is not always straightforward.

Santa, I imagine in today’s litigious society your attorneys may be busy putting warning labels on toys and all, but aren’t they free about ten months out of the year? Could they help a caregiver out? (And while we’re at it, an accountant as a stocking stuffer would be a plus.)

More Health Professionals Who Care About The Family

As I mentioned in this post, Dr. Daniel Bower, an oral surgeon who saw dad when he had a dental emergency, is the only dentist, doctor, nurse, or other health professional in the past 2.5 years who has looked at Wayne and me and said, “and how are you doing?” It’s not that we would have flooded him with the whole story or a litany of our challenges, but honestly the fact that he acknowledged that caregiving is hard on the family was big. 

While I could cite statistic after statistic confirming that caregivers experience stress, I know you have toys to make and flight plans to file, Santa. Just remind medical professionals to take a moment for empathy with caregiving families, okay?

Agencies and People Who Tell it Like it Is

One of the biggest frustrations of caregiving is the fact that well-meaning people tell you things that end up not being true or relevant to your situation. Relatively early on, someone with a home health care agency recommended another agency that, according to them, “will help you fill out the Aid in Attendance paperwork and file it — it’s just something they do.”

While the agency did help us with the paper work (which was denied after a months-long wait), when we eventually ended up at the Leon County Veterans’ Affairs Office, they said “why didn’t you come to us first?” We didn’t know to do that. The original agency we were referred to does help families fill out the paperwork, but judging by all the emails we still get from them offering to “manage our wealth,” it’s clear they had an ulterior motive.

I could give other examples but they are all the same essential model: someone tells you something they think will be helpful and you end up chasing your tail.

It also takes a lot of digging to find some incredible (and often free or low-cost) resources. We finally got hooked up with the free in-home respite from the Alzheimers Project here in Tallahassee, which uses Americorps volunteers.

Okay Santa, this is a lot to ask but we could sure use more “nice” information givers (who give the right info) than “naughty” (who mean well but send us down the wrong path). Our family’s bottom line and peace of mind are riding on this.

Patience

Dad’s cognitive issues are minor in comparison to others I’ve heard about. I know I have high expectations of myself, but I am saddened, often, about the fact that I find patience in short supply. It’s not his fault I didn’t plan ahead to be prepared to leave for a doctor’s appointment, not his fault that whatever happened in his brain stole his empathy, that it doesn’t do any good to say, “If I could just send out these four tweets, I can answer your question.”

I want patience, Santa, and I want it now! 

Grace for the Big Moments

The last 2.5 years have had their hurdles: the dental emergency, the head and neck cancer diagnosis with the related 35 radiation visits, 53 hours without electricity (or tv, his one constant) during the Hurricane Hermine aftermath.

The medical parts of Dad’s situation have compromised his privacy and eroded his dignity. More than the physical procedures, I will come away from this period of caregiving with a few significant moments embedded in my brain. I’m grateful for medical professionals who undoubtedly studied for years and learned complicated math, science, and anatomy, but for whom the real test is looking someone in the eyes who may or may not completely understand and saying, “this may be cancer. This could be very threatening to your survival.” Dr. Philip Sharp and Dr. Joseph Soto have both passed that test with flying colors.

I know you can’t take away those life altering moments, Santa, and I know that it is a privilege and duty curated out of love to be present for them. While hoping for a season of magic for children worldwide, I also ask for an extra helping of grace to be the caregiver Dad deserves.

Caregiving Challenges

Bringing “Trailahassee” Alive: Summer Trail Series 2014

This summer, I participated in the Gulf Winds Track Club’s Summer Trail Race Series 2014. The series was first held in 2013, and I did not participate. I spent much of that summer seeing other runners’ posts about the trail races, a combination of victorious and “wow can’t believe I survived in that heat” sentiments and wishing I had been part of it. Since the series sells out early (like, in April) I made sure and secure my spot when the opportunity presented itself this year.

One of my regrets about the trail races is that it was utterly impossible to take pictures of the trails since I was so focused on survival. That’s why you’re getting pictures of me instead of nature’s beauty. But I do have this one on the Cadillac Trail that I took one day while on a training run:

Summer Trail Series

Cadillac Trail

Before I recap my memories of the trail series, a quick look at each race:

redbug

The first race, on June 21, was a 4.5 miler on Tallahassee’s RedBug Trail. It began at 6 p.m. I ran my Charity Miles that day for the Alzheimers Association in conjunction with the date of the annual Summer Solstice “the longest day.” (The connection with Alzheimer’s is also why I wore purple.) Finished 113/114 in 1:26:45.

swamp forest two

The second race, on July 12, was at the Swamp Forest Trail. It was a morning race, which meant cooler (relatively) weather. I was excited that this race included me crossing the 750 mile mark in my running for Gareth through I Run for Michael (my green shirt represents awareness of mitochondrial disorders (what Gareth has)). I ran for Feeding America via Charity Miles. Finished 108/109 in 1:04:42.

magnolia

The third race, on July 26, was at the Magnolia Trail. One of the challenges of this race was the time (6 p.m. and HOT), the fact that I had been in New York City for the week prior, and my trip earlier that morning to my family reunion (and all that good southern family reunion chow!) I ran for Team RWB via Charity Miles in honor of Anna Runs America (Anna was running cross country in support of Team RWB as well as the Wounded Warrior Project). The “train” is my favorite memory of this race (the “train” is the small group of us who remained together for a significant portion of the race … toward the end I stepped aside and the others went ahead … but I loved the comments from everyone behind me about us being a train and “in this together.”). Finished 107/108 in 59:03.cadillac

The final race, on August 9, was on the Cadillac Trail (5.5 miles). I was so happy to be debuting my Idiots Running Club singlet. I was running for Team RWB (and Anna) again, also in memory of Murphy, one of our I Run for Michael children who had passed away (and for Gareth, as always…). Finished 86/88 in 1:40:31.

Takeaways:

Choo Choo. As I mentioned in my recap of the Magnolia race, the little “train” of runners we created during the Magnolia race (and replicated to some extent during the Cadillac race) was so meaningful to me. The positive vibes from the runners behind me who liked the pace and were counting on me to keep it consistent made me feel so great. I have so often been last or next to last (which is fine!) but once in a while to feel like I am helping another runner hang in there is the best feeling.

HR Issues. During the two evening races, I came to a point in the race where I was struggling mightily with a very elevated heart rate. Far above my Zone 5 (and I rarely run at Zone 5 on purpose). After the RedBug race, I deactivated the beep that tells me I am above my max HR because it was disturbing to hear and I figured the other people on the trail with me didn’t want to hear the constant beeping either. I know (from conversations with other runners) that I am not the only one who struggled with HR issues during these races, but I found it frustrating (and worrisome).

Trail Beauty. I lost count of the times I thought “I wish I could take a picture of this to share” (mostly this was about beauty but other times I wanted people to see how darn technical and difficult some of these trails are because [wait for it…..] I AM NOT ACTUALLY A MOUNTAIN BIKE! (The races were on Mountain Bike trails.)) Pretty beats hard but these trails had plenty of both.

Trail Etiquette. One aspect of this race series that I loved (and that perplexed me at times) was the emphasis on trail etiquette.  I can’t find the original email, but the parts I remember were: no earbuds, respect the trail, don’t leave anything you don’t take out, and pass on the left. There were other etiquette tips, but those are the ones I recall. I appreciate how much care was taken to respect the natural balance of the trails (including capping the series at 150 participants so as not to overestress it). I must admit I was frustrated to see a runner with earbuds (maybe (s)he had missed the instruction). It was a different set of rules than I was used to and I appreciated the way it made me think about running in this environment.

Popsicles and MoonPies Rock. You won’t see me complaining about the post-race spread (and there were healthy options too). I didn’t miss an opportunity to wolf down a post race Moon Pie. Yum.

Working Harder Than Ever. With the exception of a few ill-advised mid-summer runs I took without adequate (i.e., ANY) hydration before I got a hydration belt, this series was the single hardest running endeavor I have ever undertaken. Of course, the fact that it was the hardest makes it the most valued!

Sponsors. We were so fortunate to have the support of some generous sponsors (and props to the Race Director Bobby York for securing all of these donations). Salomon Running came out to all of the races, and at several of them let runners use their shoes for the race. Other sponsors included: Gulf Winds Track Club, Trail & Ski, Trail Runner Magazine, Earth Fare, Power Bar, Smart Wool, Buff Headwear, CamelBak, Eagles Nest Outfitters, Road ID, MoonPie, Damn Good Bikes, and Reflekt.

Volunteers. We had the best volunteers for this series! It takes some dedicated people to work through the sweat and keep us a) from getting lost b) hydrated c) encouraged and d) happy. These volunteers did all of that and more. They were incredible! The diligence taken to make sure the course was well marked is much appreciated. Don’t think I will ever forget “flags on the right”! Those who planted the flags are much valued!

FRIENDS. Many of our Moms Run This Town Tallahassee members participated in this series. There’s nothing like sharing this experience with friends. Thanks, ladies!

mrtt cadillac

Moms Run This Town Tallahassee Cadillac Trail, August 9, 2014

FINALLY. To close things out, I have a few thoughts on the trail series that elude any type of categorization. I am so glad I did this (I think that shows in my words and pictures). The experience made me explore how I really feel about my perennial back of the pack status. The trail environment put me even farther back than a road race would. As much as I jokingly say to people (frequently!), “oh I can’t tell you the number of races I have finished last in, with the law enforcement saying into their walkie talkies ‘hey do you think she’s the last one?'” I don’t take finishing last lightly. I work hard at my running and there is a competitive fire beneath this relatively calm exterior. Am I glad I never finished last? YES. Would I still be happy if I had? YES. Do I find it amusing that the race director said as I headed out for the final race, “My mountain biker isn’t here so when you pass the aid station, let them know you’re it?” YES (And in fairness I had sent him a message the night before imploring him to proceed with the end-of-race awards even though I would probably still be slogging my way through the 5.5 miles (as long as someone noted my time because Lord knows I wanted it noted!)). There were so many times I asked the people behind me “do you want to pass?” Why did I ask them instead of waiting for them to tell me they needed to pass? It was like a microcosm of my southern-bred polite girl life. I think the trail isn’t the place for that! I am also pleased as punch that I never fell down! These trails were tremendously technical (remember, we were runners not mountain bikes!) and I came close to falling many many times. I am grateful I didn’t (but of course I would have gotten back up and persevered!).

Our Gulf Winds Track Club singlets have the word “Trailahassee” on them in small print.

That small print got magnified in the prism of my own sweat this summer.

I am glad we spent the summer together, TRAILAHASSEE.

trailahassee