My Fave April SmartBrief Stories

“Even though the local news business has declined, the appetite for news has not.”

The above quote is something I read on LinkedIn yesterday. It was posted by the International City/County Management Association, as an intro to ICMA’s share of an article by “Governing.” The article discusses how local engagement is declining as community members turn more frequently to national news and media rather than local newspapers.

One of the things I enjoy about editing nonprofit sector newsletters for SmartBrief is the opportunity to give the stories from some of those local newspapers an opportunity to be shared more widely with the reading public.

Although this month’s favorites don’t focus too heavily on local outlets, they are always at the forefront of my mind. I try to use them when I can, because they matter.

Reserve Officers Association

This story in the ROA SmartBrief brought home the way administrative decisions touch individual lives. I remember thinking, “of course someone should advocate for a change.”

Family members who are survivors of active-duty military service members are eligible for scholarship assistance. Children who are survivors of reservists and National Guard members are not. There is proposed legislation to change that.

I hope it works.

National Emergency Number Association

This story is about a law (the “move over” law in Illinois, also known as “Scott’s law). It talks about how — despite a law requiring motorists to leave the lane open next to first responders (and others) working on the road shoulder with their lights deployed — three people died in 2019 and 17 troopers had their cars or bodies struck by motorists evading that law.

A sheriff’s deputy quoted in the story told a motorist he stopped during an operation set up to inform motorists about the law, “We want to come home to our families, too.”

So many stories come back to family, don’t they?

SmartBrief April 2019 Wrapup
Photo Credit: Road Safety at Workhttps://twitter.com/RoadSafeAtWork/status/1022282873536237569

International City/County Management Association

My choice to include this story in the ICMA SmartBrief was born in Lyft as I was leaving the SmartBrief office in Washington, D.C. and heading back to the airport.

Me to Lyft driver: “I like your music.”

Lyft driver to me: “This is the music they tried to get rid of in DC.”

And so a story was born … about how city council members joined residents of the Shaw neighborhood in D.C. in a rally aiming to persuade T-Mobile to allow a small business to resume playing go-go music on external speakers as it had for years, a practice T-Mobile had stopped as it cited complaints of new residents. After the rally, the collection of more than 60,000 petition signatures and a Twitter campaign around the hashtag #DontMuteDC, T-Mobile said the music will resume.

Music tells people’s stories.

National Association of Social Workers

On its surface, this story about how students at a K-8 school created a makerspace for children at a domestic violence shelter sounded like many of the stories we feature in this newsletter. Often, a social worker is involved in facilitating a great idea and helping the participants understand the broader picture and the mental health context.

Here’s what got me:

We don’t have a special vehicle for the program, so we travel separately and the supplies we bring are restricted to the dimensions of my Ford Fiesta. ~ Innovation space coordinator Greg McDonough

People helping people do it with duct tape, gumption and the tenacity to get blood out of turnips sometimes.

Sigma Xi, the Scientific Research Honor Society

Sigma Xi is currently the first newsletter I edit every day. If I were choosing a version of coffee to represent this brief, it’s like starting every morning with the double espresso information equivalent. Space, animals, physics, chemistry and more.

My April Sigma Xi highlight, though, isn’t a technical scientific fact. The story itself, about a study that examined the microbes around an underground fire in Pennsylvania, is pretty cool.

But did you know ZIP Codes can be revoked? “All but a handful of the town folk had fled when the government revoked Centralia’s postal code in 2002,” says the article.

Now we know. Hang on to your ZIP Codes, folks!

UN Wire

World Immunization Week occurred in April, so cue up this Shot at Life champion’s favorite cause!

The UN Wire newsletter covered immunizations (measles on April 17 , UNICEF’s #VaccinesWork campaign on April 19 along with malaria on April 22 and April 26.)

Capped off with the Quote of the Day on April 26.

April 2019 SmartBrief Stories

BoardSource

Last but not least (as far as newsletter stories go), here is a thought on my favorite BoardSource story for April. For BoardSource, every issue has at least one, and usually several, stories about big money donors.

For example, BB&T and SunTrust Banks are each donating $15 million to the Foundation for the Carolinas to help alleviate homelessness in Charlotte, N.C.

Of course that type of generosity will (hopefully) help solve some of our world’s big problems.

BUT, my favorite story was one I could relate to and even see myself doing. It was about how the tent cards at board members’ places can be used wisely. Although for obvious reasons, the front of the card needs to have the board member’s name on it, Bob Harris notes the other side of the card is “an ideal location for the mission that should frame nearly every discussion.”

I realize this sounds like such a minor thing. What if the back of the card just repeats the board member’s name? What if it’s left blank?

Ultimately, I believe we need reminders of our mission. I believe details matter. Pay attention to the details and you’ve taken a step toward fulfilling the bigger goals.

The “While You Were Working” News Quiz

When I was in the D.C. office in April, I had the torture opportunity to take the “While You Were Working” news quiz. You may know that I am a contributing editor to WYWW, but having my knowledge tested without being able to Google answers was a whole different experience! Here it is; you can check out how I did.

My First Original Post

April was a big month. I published my first blog post under my SmartBrief byline (and a small personal celebration ensued!).

It’s about how animals can help elderly patients heal. Take a look, then pet a pup!

April 2019 SmartBrief Wrapup

About working at SmartBrief

When I attended employee orientation last month, I learned more about the other divisions of our organization. In addition to editorial, there’s advertising, IT, marketing and sales.

wrote in more detail about my experience as a SmartBrief employee here and I invite you to peruse this list of openings if you’re in DC and being a part of our team may make sense for you (or if you know someone in DC who is seeking a great opportunity). As always, I’m happy to answer questions and provide more information about the process.

Here are the advertised open positions as of 5/5/19:

If you are interested in applying, please list me as your referrer or email me so we can discuss further.

To Recap

To subscribe to one (or more) SmartBrief newsletters, including the “end of the work day” While You Were Working, for which I am a contributing editor, click here.

If you aren’t in a subscribing mood, you can still keep up with us on FacebookSmartBrief TwitterLeadership SmartBrief TwitterLinkedIn and SmartBrief Instagram and Life at SmartBrief Instagram. (There’s also a SmartBrief feature at The Muse.)

Thanks for reading!

*Note: My opinions about the stories are my personal viewpoint; they do not reflect an endorsement by my employer.

April 2019 Share Four Somethings

April 2019 Share Four Somethings

This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is “touch.” I took a bit of a liberty, because I became intrigued by Heather Gerwing’s “Share Four Somethings.” I decided to go with her template, and spend five minutes on each of the four “somethings.”

Something Loved

It’s not directly a “touch” thing (but yet it is). I loved getting to spend time with my co-workers at our Washington, D.C., office. I work remotely almost all of the time, so it’s a rare opportunity to work together in person (and socialize).

Related — I’m not sure if this is a 2019 thing, or if I have changed (read: gotten older) or if our world is just different. One funny thing about being with people you’ve come to know relatively well professionally (and, to a degree, personally) has to do with “courteous greeting etiquette.”

During the visit (and a prior visit), I was reminded of how long it took when I moved from North Florida (i.e., Deep South) to New York City and began working at Fordham University. I didn’t have much experience with the Northeastern “air kiss” and I struggled to figure it out (although I was much better at it by the time I moved back to Florida three years later).

I think what has changed for me (and maybe it is because I know many of these people a little better and have spent so much time online with them) is … it’s a little more clear who is a hugger and who isn’t … and because we have established relationships already, it’s easier to integrate differing personal styles without walking on eggshells.

April 2019 Share Four Somethings

Something Said

Something said to me this month that touched me had to do with the fact that a conversation I had with someone helped them feel supported and heard.

I find it easier to respond to someone else’s challenge or need to vent than I do to put together my own effort to make a point or share a perspective. (That doesn’t stop me from trying, of course! Hence this blog.)

I do feel a slight shift in the way I communicate. Honestly, I type all day and there are times when (despite most people in our world seemingly becoming less inclined to pick up the phone) it’s a relief for someone in my circle to make a phone call. I think this again is popping up mostly in work settings.

Between Slack, email, texting, proprietary systems and the variety of other ways we communicate with each other, the keyboards are busy yet our thoughts are sometimes not well-formed enough to deserve (yet) to be committed to cyberspace.

Something Learned

I apologize that this section is a bit cryptic (not the first time in recent blogging history I’ve been more cryptic than transparent).

The “something learned” is that change is constant. Of course this isn’t the first time I’ve faced change, but it is occurring in a context that’s exceptionally important to me, where I only know one way to do things.

Now that a change is being made, it would be easy to panic. What if I can’t handle this change? What if it doesn’t feel the same?

Fortunately, someone involved in informing me of the change has much more history with the situation, and explained all the changes that have come before. That helped me have context. Change has happened before. Change has happened again. Change will happen in the future.

This is a bit of a side note, but Josh Spector has a great closed Facebook group for newsletter creators (if you’re a newsletter creator and interested, here’s the link to ask to be invited). In a recent discussion about low open rates, he said:

Your open rate is not a reflection of the content IN your newsletter. It’s a reflection of the strength of your relationship with your audience.

(He also said “…and your subject line” but the relationship part is what I want to focus on.)

No matter how much we rearrange the flow charts and re-engineer the way things are done, some part of change management always comes down to relationships. They’re what make people open newsletters (at least part of what makes people open newsletters) and they’re also what make people feel they have a unified mission and the gumption to give a new way a try.

Something Read

My “something read” that applies to the word “touch” is “Educated” by Tara Westover. I thought the book was phenomenal. I also thought “wow I need a comedy” when I discovered it was one of a line of books I have read relatively recently (the others being “Etched in Sand” by Regina Calcaterra and “Girl Unbroken” by Regina Calcaterra and her sister, Rosie Maloney) that involve serious abuse of a girl by a trusted relative.

In “Educated,” there was an echo of a dynamic found in the other two books (although the circumstances were completely different). Tara repeatedly returned to the situation that had been so physically threatening, even though almost every sign pointed to the outcome (more violence, more injury) being exactly the same as it had before, perhaps even worse. Westover even came close to the prospect of fatality.

Why do people go back? I know there is no easy answer, and I’m glad that, among these three books, many of the people involved found their way out and ended up in safer, more nurturing life situations.

In the case of the Calcaterra and Maloney, the system utterly failed them (as social workers and other helpers failed to see the gravity of the situation and often made it worse).

In the case of Tara Westover’s family, the parents’ choice to isolate a large family so far away from traditional civilization (and education) put these vulnerable children in a bubble from which it was almost impossible to see the non-abusive world a few miles away from them.

To see that touch doesn’t have to hurt.

April 2019 Share Four Somethings

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday (with a twist). Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

Five Minute Friday: NEXT

NEXT

With apologies that this post is a bit cryptic, the topic won’t stay subdued, so here goes.

As I shared on social media earlier this week, my colleague and friend, Katie, shares a daily kindness text. One of the kindness texts this week resonated with me in a way that was deeper than the others (which were also great).

I turned it into a graphic. Many people said they loved it. One brave person said she isn’t sure it’s always possible. I struggled mentally with who my “someone” would be.

I also struggled with what comes next after the forgiving.

In my situation, the scenario isn’t one where the other individual violated me in any way – it wasn’t a robbery or some other thing that would make people say, “Now THAT was a crime!”

It was — to try to put words around it — a result of timing. We didn’t know each other well enough to have established trust, and I had a lot riding on our interactions. My sense of where I fit in was affected by our interactions, and my sense of competence (it always comes down to that for me).

Because those were the two things affected, I realized every time I turned this situation over in my mind that it wasn’t so much that the individual needed to be forgiven. I needed to figure out how to forgive myself (for feeling unsure in general, and for a few attempts to right the ship that came across (perhaps) as too aggressive, not assertive enough or in some other way out of place)).

*** end of five minutes ***

It’s one thing to forgive someone involved in a situation that led to ill will. It’s a more difficult process to set a scene for what comes next that edifies everyone involved.

Five Minute Friday NEXT

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

Remembering Mia

When my daughter was in middle school, her dance teachers carried far more weight with her than I — a mere mom — did. Jelina Gonzalez was one of those teachers for my daughter. Now that my own daughter teaches dance and fulfills that role for a new generation of middle schoolers, I see the legacy that evolved from how Jelina and others taught her, not just to dance, but to become a young woman.

Jelina and I have stayed in touch, even though she moved hundreds of miles away. She began teaching (her experience of teaching was an integral part of a Toastmasters speech I gave about the power of a pencil). She got married. She shared her excitement as she became pregnant and planned to be Mia Sofia’s mom, with Erik to be Mia Sofia’s dad.

Mia Sofia died in utero at eight months’ gestation on March 21.

Jelina and Erik are working to raise money for Cuddle Cots so other families in similar situations can spend more time with their babies.  

As you can see in this video, Mia Sofia is loved beyond measure. (Note: The video’s privacy settings may or may not allow you to see it.)

Why a Cuddle Cot

To honor Mia Sofia, Jelina and Erik are raising money for Cuddle Cots. A Cuddle Cot is a specially-designed cooling system that prolongs the time a family can spend with their infant. Learn more about how Cuddle Cots work by visiting this link.

Comments in italics from Erik and Jelina:

Losing a little one is tough. Bereaved families are given the opportunity to spend some time with their baby after they’re born before being transported to the morgue. Unfortunately, this time is fleeting and doesn’t allow the parents to properly bond with their little angel. That time meant everything to our family.

A CuddleCot gives the family time to bond and grieve by keeping the baby cool. We wish we had one during our time of need, but we feel that we can honor our baby girl by donating one to Wellington Regional and help other families.

If you’d like to make a donation, please send your gift via Venmo to
@MiaSofia2019. (Here’s a link, but I think you have to be on the app for it to work.) Erik and Jelina ask that you include your name and email so they can keep you updated.

One image in my head throughout this period has been the sign Erik and Jelina had prepared for Mia’s room.

In that spirit, suggestions for three ways to help this family that is so dear to us.

M … for memories. Erik and Jelina will always have memories, and they created as many as they could in the time they had with Mia. They are trying to get Cuddle Cots for the hospital where Mia was born so other families faced with the death of their infant will have time for more memories.

I … for inform. Inform people about Cuddle Cots and — beyond telling them about a particular product — help them understand why families need this time with their babies.

A … for act. When there is a loss like this, everyone wants to do something to make a difference. In this situation you can act by donating or by simply providing support if a family you know finds themselves in this situation.

Five Minute Friday: LACK


L. wants to time travel.

She talked about it in her speech at the Wakulla County Tropicana Speaking Contest I judged recently.

She lacked comfort with speaking (don’t we all?). She lacked comfort in a noticeable way. Her body language spoke of her unease. Her well-crafted words got a bit lost in the trepidation of it all … the nerves. The judges (sorry…). The audience. The other contestants.

I loved her NASA shirt (of course I did).

I loved her courage, her gumption to get herself to the contest, stand up behind the podium, speak into the microphone about her desire to time travel and meet the scientists she admires so much.

L. got honorable mention out of four contestants, with the others scoring higher and getting 3rd place, 2nd place, 1st place.

I watched her after the contest, as the contestants were assembled for post-contest pictures.

She tried to shrink into the background. She looked so uncomfortable and miserable.

But she stayed.

She stayed … and this happened (please take the time to read this brief Twitter thread from my friend Rachel, who directed the contest).

She also stayed in my head.

***end of five minutes***

As the Twitter thread attests, L. is a beautiful young woman, in the way many sixth-grade girls are. She had no way of seeing that in herself, but she was gorgeous in a way that was all promise and no awkwardness. Beautiful face, pretty hair, total lack of awareness of how pretty she is.

Even though that point is important, the part that struck me was how her demeanor changed when she wasn’t *giving a speech*.

After the speeches, the emcee would chat with each contestant as the judges tallied our scores.

L. lit up, talking about her favorite scientist in a relaxed, articulate, engaging way. She lacked nothing. Whatever the opposite of lack … is what she demonstrated. ABUNDANCE … of intellect. Of promise. Of worth.

That’s why her comment after being told by two adult women that she is pretty and very smart: “People usually tell me I’m trash” is so devastating.

I have a daughter. I’ve been a daughter. I’ve tried to instill confidence in my own daughter and I’ve fought my own battles with trusting my intellect and knowing what I have to contribute to the world is enough.

I believe Rachel when she says, “I’m going to follow up & figure her story out & see if I can help nurture her love of all things science,” because a) I know Rachel has never said “I’m going to follow up” and failed to do so and b) she won’t lack for help.

I’ll be first in line.

*NOTE: L. obviously has a full name and it was a public contest, but it doesn’t seem fair to her to use it. Let her represent a legion of bright sixth-grade girls just like her.

Five Minute Friday OFFER

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

Making Up My Mind: Choosing SmartBrief Stories

I have to make up my mind multiple times each day about which stories to feature in the nonprofit sector newsletters I edit for SmartBrief. I have to think through criteria such as:

  • What will encourage a subscriber to keep reading?
  • What will best reflect the organization the newsletter represents?
  • What will stand out in the deluge of information every news consumer faces daily?

These are the stories that best met the criteria in March:

Access breeds integrity: How scientists are getting in their own way by refusing to share

A story in the Sigma Xi Society SmartBrief discussed how scientific discoveries could progress much more quickly if paleontologists would share 3D fossil scans online. For various reasons (territoriality, copyright issues, not knowing the process involved in sharing such images), the process has been halting and incomplete.

Doug Boyer, creator of a website for virtual fossils, talks in the article about the correlation between the quantity of data and the ability to do more sophisticated analysis. “Just as important is the idea that access breeds integrity,” writes the article’s author, Dyani Lewis. The “access breeds integrity” idea is one that lodged in my head and took hold. I think it’s true beyond fossil datasets.

If we don’t have access to many things in our world, the lack of transparency threatens integrity. 

March 2019 SmartBrief Wrapup

Is helping a homeless person anonymously through an app a step forward or a step backward?

Have you ever heard the term “relational poverty”? I had never encountered it until I read this story in the BoardSource SmartBrief about beacons backed up by an app that homeless people can use to share information about themselves with potential donors to bypass “relational poverty” — the term the app’s creator uses to represent a bystander’s reluctance to help.

If access breeds integrity, as discussed above, does this app and its apparent success means that lack of access (i.e., not having to talk face to face with someone who needs help) breeds generosity?

I am simultaneously fascinated by the use of technology to make it easier for people in need to get help and appalled that it is seen as a good thing to be able to avoid all interactions.

Our military goes face-to-face in Central America to provide a helping hand

You can’t pull a Honduran kid’s painful infected tooth with an app. In the Reserve Officer Association SmartBrief, we shared a story about how Army Reserve troops with Joint Task Force-Bravo provided medical care to people in remote areas of Central America.

I am grateful to these members of our military for serving the people of Honduras in this way. 

Women in India get restroom parity

Here in the US, we may have a hint at the issue of restroom parity as homeless women (and men) seek decent facilities to use the bathroom or clean up, but the challenge exists on a much wider scale in India. A story in the International City/County Management Association SmartBrief described how Pune, India, is converting old buses into mobile restrooms for women.

Lack of public restroom access for women in India can lead to health issues, increases safety risks and may keep girls from continuing their schooling. As many as 300 women per day have visited the stations, which creators say “give women what is theirs: safety and dignity.”

I love how this effort to meet a basic need has the potential to make a difference in women’s (and girls’) lives that is so far beyond “basic.”

The Yezidi people deserve much more

The UN Wire SmartBrief format includes six two-sentence summaries and eight links to stories that don’t include a summary. I suppose it is a testament to the enormity of our world and the multitude of griping stories that we only had room to give a story about the UN and Iraq jointly exhuming the first Yezidi mass grave a link without an accompanying summary.

Still, it’s a story worth reading. I didn’t know about this until I read it, and I can barely wrap my head around a situation an Iraqi official said was among “the most brutal crimes of the modern era.”

History can’t be reversed, but I am glad the remains these people who suffered so much will be given the dignity they deserve in death, even if they didn’t get it in life.

This analysis of 911 calls from Amazon warehouses was a prime example of the intersection between working conditions and mental health

In the National Emergency Number Association SmartBrief, we shared an analysis of 911 calls made from within 46 Amazon warehouses in 17 states. Obviously, even one analysis such as this is one angle on a situation, but I found it eye opening, and it is hard to discount the themes that arose.

Experts consulted for the article agreed that “a pressure cooker environment and mental illness can be dangerously toxic combination,” while not commenting specifically on Amazon.

Our work world has, in many cases, become much more driven by metrics. This article made me wonder when the line between metrics and humanity has been crossed too far.

How one psychotherapy center ensures each step of the process is welcoming

You know how a tiny part of an experience can ruin the whole thing? A rude receptionist, the waiting room playing a tv station that ruffles your political sensibilities … that type of thing? For the National Association of Social Workers SmartBrief, we discussed how the Walnut Psychotherapy Center takes care to make sure LGBTQ clients feel welcomed from the very first moment of interaction with the center.

The intake process “[cultivates] a safe enough space for [LGBTQ clients] to articulate their needs, share their story, feel heard and seen, to have someone hold the parts of their lives that feel sacred and tender as they prepare for their journey inward with their new therapist,” writes Biany Pérez, the center’s intake coordinator.

The small things matter, whether it’s starting the therapy process or building a massive construction project. I love how this center pays attention to the nuances.

How to get people to do things

I had the opportunity to fill in for the editor of SmartBrief on Entrepreneurs for a few issues last month. For the obvious reasons, this brief is quite a departure from my usual nonprofit fare. BUT this article about the ideal pitch deck to appeal to angel investors contained this universal truth about trying to convince almost anyone of anything (a quote from Kay Sprinkel Grace): “In good times and bad, we know that people give because you meet needs, not because you have needs.”

How often have you had to convince another person of a particular point, and been tempted to focus on what you need? Even in parenting, we may want our kids to be quiet, clean their rooms more quickly or get their homework done without procrastinating, but finding the appeal (diverting them to an interesting book may engage their attention while giving you the quiet you want without you having to harangue them for example) creates a win-win for everybody (sometimes!).

March 2019 SmartBrief Wrapup

Why we should shelve our stereotypes about libraries

Another thing I had to make up my mind about recently in my SmartBrief life was a topic for my second Editor’s Desk video (here’s my first). I decided that the topic of social workers as staff members at libraries should be addressed, since we had run stories about the topic six times over six months.

I’m grateful to the Leon County Public Library for allowing me to record a video about a library in a real library, as I think the backdrop made it much more effective visually. I appreciate the National Association of Social Workers sharing the video on their Facebook page, which created a great dialogue on the topic. This subject is going to continue growing, as evidenced by sites such as Whole Person Librarianship and the movie The Public, starring Emilio Estevez and Rhymefest, which discusses a library’s decision-making process about how to handle the needs of homeless people.

Here’s the video:

About working at SmartBrief

I framed this month’s recap around decisions I personally had to make regarding the content of each brief. It is true that I make the final call, but as with all good products, each brief is a team effort involving editorial, marketing, sales and technical teams (among others).

I wrote in more detail about my experience as a SmartBrief employee here and I invite you to peruse this list of 10 openings if you’re in DC and being a part of our team may make sense for you (or if you know someone in DC who is seeking a great opportunity). As always, I’m happy to answer questions and provide more information about the process.

Here are the advertised open positions as of 4/7/19:

If you are interested in applying, please list me as your referrer or email me so we can discuss further.

To Recap

To subscribe to one (or more) SmartBrief newsletters, including the “end of the work day” While You Were Working, for which I am a contributing editor, click here.

If you aren’t in a subscribing mood, you can still keep up with us on FacebookSmartBrief TwitterLeadership SmartBrief TwitterLinkedIn and SmartBrief Instagram and Life at SmartBrief Instagram. (There’s also a SmartBrief feature at The Muse.)

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll make up your mind to stay in touch with SmartBrief!

March 2019 SmartBrief Wrapup

This post is in response to the Kat Bouska prompt “Write about a time you had to make up your mind.”

*Note: My opinions about the stories are my personal viewpoint; they do not reflect an endorsement by my employer.

Five Minute Friday: OFFER

Have you ever had one of those weeks (or hours … or days … or months)? This week, I thought I kept all the balls in the air well enough … until it became apparent I had not.

I finished a project I owed someone — earlier than it was due — wrote it off in my head, patted myself on the back and apparently forgot to send it to the individual. THAT led to a round of “who’s on first” type communications and much self-recrimination on my part.

Fortunately, I have a few friends to whom I can privately say, “I feel like I’m losing it” and they know exactly the right words and reactions to offer.

Earlier tonight I read an incredible Twitter thread about a woman who helped a fellow passenger on the subway. The fellow passenger was experiencing seizures, and the author of the tweets said she followed the instructions on the fellow passenger’s instruction card, waiting with her through several subway stops and several more seizures until the woman (a young woman – I think she was 18) was safely home.

The author of the tweets said (paraphrasing), “We live in a society where it’s easy to call 9-1-1 when someone has a situation like this, but in this specific case, that would have led to worse things — more fluorescent lights and noises to trigger more seizures. More expense (I guess…). More invasiveness. Less comfort of being home in her own environment, with her own bed, her cat (if she has a cat but you get the point…), her dignity.

I am grateful for a friend who gave me the equivalent tonight — an ear, some reassurance, the chance to vent. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Five Minute Friday OFFER

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

Five Minute Friday: MEASURE

Five Minute Friday Measure

Five Minute Friday: MEASURE

Two friends have lost their infants this week. One of them is Jesse, who I wrote about in this post.

I didn’t know Jesse’s family before he was born. I learned about him when the family started a Facebook page and community to pray for him after he was born. A friend of mine is a friend of Jesse’s family.

I don’t recall the specifics of his birth injury in great detail, but he was deprived of oxygen during labor, and his prognosis was uncertain from the moment he was born.

There were many questions over the three months and two days he was here on Earth. His brain growth (among other things) was measured carefully to see if there was any change, which would potentially indicate other possibilities for his development.

His family was so gracious in the way they shared their experience, especially since many of us were strangers they didn’t know.

The family took family pictures, in the outfit they intended to dress Jesse in for family pictures all along (to my recollection).

They all went to a Florida State baseball game (there are two other young siblings in the mix).

Jesse’s dad sat and watched all the Marvel movies he could fit in with Jesse a few days before he passed away.

*** end of five minutes ***

The song “Seasons of Love” in “Rent” asks:

How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

That song refers to the period of a year.

Jesse with us less than a year. In the time he was here, though, many people grew to love him and his family. He generated good will at a time in our world where it seems the news grows more negative day by day.

For three months and two days, we were reminded that the capacity to care is measured by something less finite than blocks on a calendar.

Five Minute Friday Place

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

3 Fabulous Women to Follow on Twitter

The #WomenToFollow project compiled a list of 1,000 women (and growing) worth following on Twitter. People were invited to nominate three women. Although I could easily think of 30, these are my three nominees.

Elizabeth Vargas (@EVargasTV)

I have followed Elizabeth Vargas for years, as many of us have, due to her prominent role as a TV news personality.

Elizabeth Vargas’ Twitter Avatar

Her book, “Between Breaths,” is a candid, intense read about the peaks and valleys of her life. She discusses her experiences of anxiety and addiction, and her plan going forward. I recommend the book and the woman.

Also, she responded to one of my tweets once, which went over pretty big with me!

Follow her at @EVargasTV.

Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (@TheRaDR)

Rabbi Ruttenberg is a relatively new follow for me. All I can say at this point is that her tweets are among the many in my stream that often make me stop and think.

Like I wrote above, this Twitter follow is pretty new, but this tweet captures what I think I am going to experience by following Rabbi Ruttenberg:

Follow her at @TheRaDR.

Tinu (@Tinu)

I have known Tinu on social media for so long now. I can’t remember when we started following each other (although I do know I owe the connection to the Spin Sucks community, which named her a #FollowFriday feature all the way back in 2011).

Tinu’s Twitter Avatar

The reasons she comes to mind are numerous, but here are two:

  1. She “got it” when I was DMing her on Twitter when my father-in-law was hardly sleeping (and therefore I was hardly sleeping). I just needed to discuss micronaps with someone, and she was that someone.
  2. She’s the only person I know whose posts such as Biopsy Hilarity really ARE hilarious. And educational about so many aspects of cancer. And real. So many “ands.”

Follow her at @Tinu.

The real power behind The #WomenToFollow effort is the wonderful @RoseHorowitz31, so give her a follow also! Stacey Kratz (@heykiddo) is also involved in curating the list. Here’s how you can be involved:

  1. Tweet your three nominations to Rose and Stacey using the hashtag #WomenToFollow, and
  2. Subscribe to the list of incredible women!

Note: I know my blog has some odd spacing before periods, etc. I’m trying to figure this out. Just follow these wonderful women for now; I’ll keep plugging away at resolving this! – pk

Five Minute Friday: REWARD

Five Minute Friday Reward

Five Minute Friday: REWARD

I am really motivated by incentive programs. If the “accelerated reader” program had existed back when I was a kid, I’m sure I would have had ALL the points.

As I’ve gotten older, though, it’s the rewards that can’t be quantified that matter more.

I won’t share verbatim, out of respect to the person who said it, but someone told me recently that the way I handled our work-related relationship made them feel like it was more meaningful than just doing a job.

I used to bring little videos or share items to my staff meetings at Healthy Kids, hoping to give the people in my unit something more than the list of what needed to be done or task-related directives (whether they be compliments or more constructive comments).

When I look back on that time, perhaps those additions to the way I managed did supplement the experience, but there were some pieces of the management situation that were more basic that I wasn’t handling, so I think the “feel-good” stuff may have seemed like just that much sweet frosting on a cake that turned out to be made only of air.

Maybe that all happened for a reason (something I’ve said repeatedly over the last year or so). Whatever the case, being told that something I said or the way I handled a work relationship made a difference is a much better reward than any sticker, tchotchke or intangible token could ever be.

Five Minute Friday Place

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)