As my trip to Savannah approached, I was searching for a running route. Madeline of Food, Fitness, and Family, who I first met as an “Elf For Health” partner, lives in the vicinity but suggested that Victoria of Victoria Runs would be the best person to ask. Now that the weekend (and the run) have come and gone, I better understand why Victoria’s first question was, “Do you want to include the Talmadge Bridge?” I now understand why that question wasn’t as innocuous a question as “do you want to run on streets or trails?” The Talmadge Bridge changes up everything about a “Saturday long run”:

(Oh, and by the way Victoria gave me a great coffee shop recommendation too, so a shoutout to Gallery Espresso is in order (the “Welcome Runners” image below is from their door).

Then there’s my friend Matt “Luau” Wilson, who ran 100 miles in 27 hours and 57 minutes in the TARC 100. This must set an all-time record for the number of continuous Charity Miles run. It’s one very big thing to accomplish the running of 100 miles. it’s an even bigger thing to do it for your child and for all families for whom autism is part of their world (Matt ran his miles for Autism Speaks). Way to go, Matt. I am proud beyond words to call you friend.

(Oh, and by the way Matt has a great spouse too, who had quite a weekend of her own as Matt slogged through the mud, so a shoutout to Jess is in order).

Lastly, my niece Jessica graduated from South University with her Pharm.D. (that’s why I was in Savannah). It has been academically grueling, and the years she committed to an accelerated program have had their share of life’s ups and downs, but she has persevered with intellect, persistence, class, and grace. Jessica, I love you and am forever elated to be your family member.

(Oh, and by the way Jessica has a great set of parents, too, who have done their share of sacrificing, loving, and nurturing along the way so a shoutout to Mary and Jamie is in order.)

A big bridge, a hundred miles, and a doctorate. Conquered!

My list is not static.  Songs that make me feel incredibly pumped up and motivated for weeks suddenly grow stale and find themselves replaced. But for that period that they’re “in,” they have a combination of great beat, musical novelty, and contagiousness that gets me through many miles and various workouts from my coach that have me running all kinds of combinations of heart rate zones and distances.

The WarmUp Song

I am pretty sure Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z featuring Alicia Keys will always be my warm-up song. Its beat is “medium” enough for a warmup and each time I play it, it’s a little tiny homage to my favorite place. Ironically, I miss my favorite place so much right now that I can’t bear to listen to the song so I’ve been going straight to the fast stuff.

Tunes I Love

Shake Señora by Pitbull featuring T-Pain and Sean Paul

Jump by FloRida (The Chocolate Puma full vocal mix)

Scream & Shout by will.i.am featuring Britney Spears

Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton

Magic by B.o.B. (featuring Rivers Cuomo)

Universal Mind Control by Common

Till The World Ends by Britney Spears (The Bloody Beatroots Extended Remix)

Run by Flo Rida (featuring RedFoo – Bonus Track)

Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden

Be Good To Yourself by Journey

Timebomb by Kylie Minogue (Extended Version)

Turn Up the Radio by Madonna (Offer Nissim Remix)

Include Me Out by Robbyn

T.H.E. Hardest Ever by will.i.am (featuring Mick Jagger & Jennifer Lopez)

Lose Yourself by Eminem

Electricity by Ashley Jana

What I’ve Done by Linkin Park

For Cool Downs

Just Give Me A Reason by Pink featuring Nate Ruess

I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz

But Wait!! There’s More!!

When I got back into running (in 2008) and started searching for music, I relied quite heavily for a while on “beats per minute” mixes. Now, I primarily use those when I am doing speedwork at the track or when I particularly want to focus on form and consistency. The ones I have used and recommend include:

Beats Per Minute Music

Podrunner Podrunner is the first “beats per minute” podcast service I subscribed to. DJ Steve Boyett (who is also an author!) works hard to create this free podcast (there are technical considerations, music licensing negotiations, and a whole host of things besides slapping together catchy tunes).

Motiontraxx Motiontraxx has added a lot of options since I began downloading their podcast a few years ago. There are now apps for iPhone and Android, and there are mixes/coaching cues for HIIT workouts and other activities besides running.

BeatRunning I don’t have as much of a “relationship” with BeatRunning as I feel like I do with Podrunner and Motiontraxx; I just bought some of their mixes off of iTunes. They’re the ones I happen to use most frequently now — a solid 180 bpm of something that I can try to attach my cadence to.

Audiobooks

I love audiobooks. I go through them rapidly. If I have a long Zone 2 (conversational pace) run planned, I will frequently listen to an audiobook. The miles can go back a lot more painlessly if you’re wrapped up in a biography or great fiction story.

Podcasts

There are so many fantastic podcasts out there. It was through podcasts that I have ended up with some of my favorite running connections.  The first running podcast I ever listened to was Chris Russell’s RunRunLive (fortunately I wasn’t too thrown off by the first five minutes being about mountain goat hygiene services (Chris has a quirky sense of humor). I was introduced to it by Ann Brennan of Ann’s Running Commentary. She now has her own running podcast at Ann’s Running Commentary. Both of these podcasts have my highest recommendation.

Nothing

I would be remiss if I didn’t give a bit of credit to running without earbuds, without someone else talking or singing into your ear. And of course this doesn’t actually mean you’re listening to “nothing.” If you are working on your running form, you have a chance to listen to your “light fast feet” (or the fact that they’re not as light and fast as you thought!). Birds, traffic, animals, other people, the thoughts bumping around in your head. Sometimes it’s best to leave all the music/talk at home and just run.

A Note About Safety

While I love running with the various songs, books, and podcasts mentioned above, I want to remind you (assuming teacher/mom/coach voice here) that safety is key. This article has a few tips about running safely with headphones (some of which I defy on a daily basis but they’re good food for thought).

But Enough About Me

What are your faves? Let me know in the comments!

I drive past the office that housed the position I “quit” several times a week. It is right across from my daughter’s high school; it’s on one of Tallahassee’s main thoroughfares, and it is less than a mile from my office. It houses something else now, but in 1988, the building housed the “Family Life Center,” where I had my internship for my Master’s degree in Counseling and Human Systems.

I suppose taking an “incomplete” in an internship is not exactly the same as “quitting.” I intended to go back. From the vantage point of all the intervening years, I can’t remember what was so horrible about it that I felt led to take the incomplete. I did feel utterly lost partially because there was very little supervision. Counseling these families in crisis was a lot different than role playing with a classmate or handling a short-term crisis over the telephone at the local suicide hotline.  My fellow interns and I unanimously decided the experience was going poorly; one of them even drew a satirical cartoon with the building name modified to say, “Family Death Center.” The cartoon featured adult women (us) running away as rapidly as we could.

I wonder if a mentor could have made a difference. I wonder if, with the application by our manager of some principles of effective mentoring, the situation could have involved more learning and less griping. (And of course the clients we were supposed to be serving probably weren’t getting our best either; we were busy being dissatisfied.)

Chip R. Bell and Marshall Goldsmith have just released a Third Edition of “Managers as Mentors – Building Partnerships for Learning.” In this dramatically revised edition, Bell and Goldsmith introduce 12 new chapters, new tools, and case studies. They focus on a hands on approach that takes the mystery out of effective mentoring and teaches leaders to be confident coaches.

One illustration the authors included is the comparison of mentoring to panning for gold. Bell and Goldsmith talk about how successfully panning for gold involves gently moving the sand-filled pan “back and forth as you let small amounts of yellow sand wash over the side of the pan.” If you rush or show impatience, the tiny gold flecks escape over the side along with the common yellow sand. At the Family Life Center, my heaps of yellow sand overshadowed any gold flecks of skill that were there to be discovered. I recognize that in a non-profit mental health setting, the supervisor is pulled in more directions than he or she can possibly go. To look back on the situation with bitterness because that particular supervisor did not have or take the time to be a part of my development beyond making sure patients got seen would be futile. But twenty-five years later I still wonder how it could have been different (and better). (When I took the incomplete, I was told I could return at a later date to finish the internship. When I tried to do that, an administrator said, “I don’t have time for that.” I completed my internship in a totally different venue (career counseling)).

Another favorite passage of “Managers as Mentors” occurred in a case study that involved an interview with Mark Tercek, President and CEO of The Nature Conservancy. Tercek described his most important mentor as someone who “never offered me the easy way out.” In advising Tercek how to deal with tough interpersonal issues, the mentor told him, “Don’t make it complicated; just get in front of it.”

Would my career (and life) have been different if I had stayed at the Family Life Center? Although I really do believe “things happen for a reason,” I can see when I play those months back in my mind that it could have been so much more. By applying some of the principles Bell and Goldsmith discuss in their book, by my leader at the time being able or willing to invest at all in my growth, I may have found a way to say, “never mind on that incomplete. Let’s keep going.” I complicated things (as Tercek was in danger of doing) in a situation where conceivably, I could have gotten “in front of it.”

Have you had a mentor make a difference in your career? Tell me about it in the comments!

You can read a sample chapter of Managers as Mentors by clicking here.

Chip is the author of nineteen books, including Wired and Dangerous (co-authored with John Patterson). He is a senior partner with the Chip Bell Group and serves as a consultant, trainer, or speaker to major organizations. Chip’s new book, Managers as Mentors, co-authored by best-selling author, Marshall Goldsmith, is available on Amazon and at select bookstores nationwide.

Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

In the post, I asked how “free” I really ran, since I still took my smartphone (to run the Charity Miles app), utilized the Map My Run app, had a watch on, and was listening to music via an iPod. And my glasses to be able to see all those electronics at work.

My recovery week came and went; it’s back to the hard stuff training-wise now, but last night’s 4 mile Gulf Winds Track Club Pot Luck prediction run gifted me with the freedom I never really found during recovery week. It was a race and not a “run to remember how much you love it” (which is what we’re supposed to do on our recovery week free runs) but by its nature it stripped me of all the things that can dilute a free run. It was free of:

• Heart Rate Monitor (the strap and the watch)
• Watch (yes, I wear a second, “plain” watch)
• Smartphone
• Armband for smartphone
• iPod
• Anything technical that could track mileage, calculate time, give to charity, take a picture
• My glasses

It was hot. It was hilly. It was beautiful. It had bugs. It was mystifying (no mile markers). It was perfect.

This runner who usually prefers running alone had to be with 237 people to find the freedom that eluded me a few weeks ago. As I crossed the finish line, I looked back to see what my time had been (the clock is obscured because of the prediction nature of the race). What did I see?

I saw that I had just experienced 57 minutes and 54 seconds of freedom.

Photo credit: Fred Deckert

This Memorial Day weekend, I’d ask you to bring to mind someone who has shaped your life positively. Let’s remember those who brought happiness and positivity into our world. Write a blog post about it, share a Facebook post, and shine a light on their lessons.

It was just the opening I needed for my good-bye to Sean Parker, Jessica, and Carter (the dog-who-is-so-much-more-than-a-dog). Apparently begging, pleading, and not-so-subtly Facebook aggravating by repeatedly exhorting: NO! PLEASE DON’T GO! did not change their plans to move to Memphis, where Sean has a reporting/weather opportunity at ABC Affiliate WPTY-24.

By way of good-bye (for now), five comments in tribute:

• Loving What You Do Ever since I read, a long time ago, the book “Do What You Love and The Money Will Follow,” I have been asking myself every day how to accomplish that. Mortgages and various complications (so far) keep me from dropping everything and “doing what I love” but I’m positive Sean loves weather. Good thing Jessica does too because I am pretty sure that something like this would be (maybe?) considered riveting by these two:

A Riveting 30 Hour Forecast Map

• Making Complete Sentences at 5 A.M. Isn’t For Everyone Two summers ago, when I started getting up earlier and earlier to fit in my run before work, I began paying a little more attention to the early morning weather. Then somewhere along the line I started tweeting the early morning team at WTXL, especially Sean and more recently Big Moose, and even MORE recently, Abbey Maurer when she finally gave in to the twenthusiasm and began tweeting. When you’re laying in bed at 5 a.m. and decide not to hit snooze and catch another 15 minutes of sleep because you are that excited to have a little twitter exchange with the news/weather/traffic team, you’re probably onto something pretty special.
• I Pay Attention To The Weather Now I guess I always “paid attention” to the weather and lord knows we all complain about it when it’s not what we want. Runners especially get a little compulsive about weather predictions; we don’t want to get caught 4 miles out without rain gear (or gloves …. or a hat …. or [insert perfect weather-related running item here]). But Sean has given me a new appreciation for the role of weather in our lives, and how beautiful (and cruel and capricious) it can be.  I may have taken it a little far ….. looking at every sky thinking “I wonder if I should tweet a picture of this to Sean,” writing things in the ice on my windshield like “Not Juneuary” instead of just de-icing the thing and driving to work.

Paula freezes her finger off to try to get a little air time on WTXL.

• The Tweeting Oh, the tweeting. I’ve referred to it already, but if you ever wonder what Sean is doing when he’s not on camera, it’s likely it involves one of four computers. Updating Storm Team details, staying up with minute-by-minute changes in the weather, updating the Storm Team’s Facebook page, and tweeting. If I never tweet again, I will die a happy twitter death having had this Twitter exchange between me, Sean, and Sam Champion.

• Compelling Weather Television Doesn’t Get This Way Without A Lot Of Work Sean used the phrase “compelling weather television” the other day. It isn’t easy to create (in my opinion). I have appreciated the little insight I have gotten into the joys and challenges of being in the public eye. Not sure I would be as patient with people who quibble with my word choice (ahem), who have opinions on the hypothetical messages behind clothing and other personal choices. I think Sean has navigated these waters beautifully.

So there you have it. I appreciate so much about what you have brought to our community, Sean. I am glad that you, Jessica, and I had the opportunity to become friends and share some running memories together.

Michelle, Jessica, Sean, Me, Adrea, Sara at the Gate River Run 2013

I forecast a divergence in the winds of Compelling Weather Television, starting this Friday (Sean’s last day). I’m a little in the doldrums about it, but I’m very happy that the extended outlook for Sean, Jessica, and Carter is much success and happiness ahead.

If you are a Tallahassee viewer and want to tell Sean goodbye, email the station at abc27news@wtxl.tv, tweet Sean himself (@seanmparker) or visit his Facebook Page. Do it this week; his last day is Friday May 31!

Our first instruction was to pass the brick from participant to participant, with each of us verbalizing something tangible about the brick. The list of contributions (some of which are more concrete than others) follows: intimidating, cool, rough, porous, pocked, solid, heavy, inconsistent, dark, rectangular, used, dense, enduring, pumice, dangerous, brown, dappled, aggregate, earthy, speckled, bloody, brick, sharp, punctured, angular, chipped, dirty, stolen, borrowed, 3-D, textured, 3 x 6 x 2, insolvent, colored, massive, dry, concrete, heavy, hard, coated, mortared, plain, ugly, and modular.

Following that piece of the exercise, we were told to: Write a story to the brick, excluding all of the words you just shared about its characteristics.

Okee dokee then. So I wrote. And I wrote this:

BRICK

You are not accustomed to being alone like this. Handled, passed around like a newborn at its first extended family outing.

You are passed from person to person, each individual trying to figure out what makes you … you.

You will be examined, analyzed — the very center of attention — for fifteen minutes of notoriety.

But you will grow up, you will become more like us and our common polymers will bind us together. You will nestle into the family line and together we will build something strong and impenetrable.

**

I really love these writing exercises at conferences — I get so sleepy when the activity is more passive, and (of course) I had gotten up super early to get my run in before the conference. I will think of “Mr. Brick” for a long time into the future!

**

On another note, I am not sure why I feel compelled to explain this but …. I have taken on an editing project. This is not new (to be doing an editing project on the side) but I have set a goal to complete it before our family vacation which begins June 22. I am running out of things to eliminate. I have to do my day job (obviously); I have a commitment to my fitness goals which means I can’t slack off on those; I have two children to parent and a spouse who needs my engagement. The only thing I can think to eliminate is my “Wordless Wednesdays” and my “Mama Kat” prompt responses every Thursday. I have kept my “Sunday blog” streak alive for three years so I will maintain it, and I’ll fit the others in if I can, but as we climb out of two years of job loss for hubs, and as I endeavor to keep my relationships with my editing clients healthy, as they said in the Diane Keaton/Jack Nicholson movie, Something’s Gotta Give. Thank you for understanding.

Ian’s statement, “I got to open doors for people,” and Bill Treasurer’s elaboration on the six types of “Doors of Opportunity” in his book, Leaders Open Doors, reminded me of how easily we can “complexify” the challenges we face at work.

Thinking about Ian’s pride in opening doors for his classmates echoed back to how fulfilled I have felt when leaders throughout my career have made me feel like an important part of the team. They did this in different ways: making sure I had information about the project so that I understood where my task fit in the “big picture,” making me feel like my contribution was something that I was uniquely positioned and qualified to do, and (even though I didn’t always get warm fuzzies about this) giving me specific directions when I needed to make corrections.

One of Bill Treasurer’s recommended “Open-Door Actions and Reflections” is: Identify at least one leader who helped bring about a personal shift for you. What was the shift? Why did you need it? What did the leader do to help bring it about?

I have had many leaders over the years, effective ones, abrupt ones, milquetoast ones. To provide an example that might make sense to Ian and his teacher (if they happened to be a 48 year old in the workplace), I’ll share this: we had a team of consultants at Healthy Kids once who were working with us on process improvement projects. There was a difficult technology transition under way, and as the Director of Customer Service, I had gotten in the habit of writing lengthy, detailed, ill-tempered emails about problems I was experiencing with our new system and the effects of the problems on our enrollees. The consultant said to me, very matter of factly, “you know, you write long emails about these issues and you are blasting waves of ‘this is a problem,’ ‘this is also a problem,’ and ‘there is a third issue too….’ to multiple recipients, without identifying who you hope is going to rectify the situation or suggesting solutions. This is taking up your time without yielding any solutions.”

That conversation was held several years ago. I can’t think of a single email since then where I have not identified who I was directing the email to (even if I cc’d others for the sake of sharing important information) or what outcome I hoped for. It has helped me use my time more effectively and the likelihood of eliciting solutions to the problems I am presenting is higher.

Bill Treasurer reminds us, “It’s hard to be an open-door leader if your mental door is closed.” I thank Lori, the consultant mentioned above, for helping me push through a behavioral door that was hurting me. I encourage you to pick up Bill’s book to refresh your approach to leadership in a radically simple way.

Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer at Giant Leap Consulting and former U.S. High Diver, wants leaders to be a part of opening doors of opportunities for others to thrive, achieve, and lead. The proceeds of his new book, Leaders Open Doors, are being donated to charities that serve children with special needs. Available on Amazon.

Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.

I was running with 200+ of Cade’s friends.

The occasion was “Run the 11th Mile for Cade on Mother’s Day Weekend“

A compilation of images from my run is below. I kept hoping for signs: “superheroes,” the number 11, things that would symbolize Cade, who passed away at the age of nine in 2010. As is often the case with life, I really didn’t find much until I was on my cooldown walk, when I stopped trying to force something to materialize:

To learn more about Cade, visit his CaringBridge page here.

This event went from a “why don’t we?” idea on Facebook to what I am pretty sure is going to turn into a recurring event. If you’re interested, let the group know via the event page.

But honestly, how many facts do I have to have to explain that our family’s cellphone bill is now higher every month, all because a button on my teenager’s iPhone was stuck?

Our family have been Verizon (AllTel, then Verizon) customers for a long time. Since the time when the only phone options were “dumb,” since before we relied upon our phones to document our life in pictures, since before Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram existed. We have paid them lots of money, been loyal customers, and had a great relationship with them on social media.

I try to keep up with tech news, which is why I knew that Verizon was in the process of phasing out “unlimited” data plans. As most consumers would, I had hoped that our time for this phase-out would come later instead of sooner.

Tenley took her iPhone in to Verizon a couple of months ago because the button on top was sticking. To my understanding, she was encouraged to “just get a new phone,” since the new phone would be “free.” She was satisfied with that arrangement, understandably.

So was I, until I started getting the “data alerts” that she was inching closer to a “data limit.”  I immediately emailed a Verizon rep who has been a huge help to me with various questions over the years, asking why all of a sudden I was getting “data alerts.” I received no response.

Our family then went to Verizon and met with a rep, who explained that she probably wouldn’t use “too much over” and reviewed other data plan options we could have if we switched the family’s internet service to Verizon.

And the data alerts kept on flowing.

I tweeted Verizon, and ended up talking with a very nice rep, who explained that she should take advantage of wi fi wherever she was. She has been trying but still the “data alerts” and additional charges keep pouring in.

All because a button was stuck.

It’s not right, and it has led to an additional expense our family can ill afford as we try to recover our financial footing after two years of unemployment for my husband and as we prepare for college costs for our daughter.

If I hear back from Verizon, and they agree to reinstate Tenley’s unlimited data plan, I’ll most certainly update this blog and give Verizon all the props they earn. If I don’t hear back from them, all I can say is if you are a Verizon customer who still has the precious unlimited data plan, don’t assume a “free replacement phone” will be all that free.

We learned the hard way.

1) The drive as part of the funeral procession for my sister-in-law, Ann, after she had died utterly unexpectedly at the age of 30.

2) The drive with my spouse from Tallahassee Memorial to our house after I had been released from the hospital, knowing I was going home to bed rest to let my son “incubate” more after a bout of premature labor, wondering if I should say out loud my fears that I had somehow caused this to happen, but not having the courage, words, or trust to do so.

Source: morgueFile

3) The drive from our house to my inlaws the morning we had to tell them that my brother in law Chuck had committed suicide. We had known since the prior evening. It was about 9 miles to the gas station where we were meeting Wayne’s sister, Mary, and another mile to their house. Every single mile felt like twenty.

4) The drive from my hometown to Tallahassee and back (about 2.5 hours each way) when I was home from New York City and had requested (demanded?) that my parents visit a therapist with me. One car, three people, miles and miles of silent tense questions.

5) Any drive when I am tired, need to use the bathroom, and the coffee/caffeine just doesn’t seem to be helping (maybe the coffee/caffeine item needs to precede the bathroom item!).

Have there been happy long drives? Maybe, but none come to mind. I get drowsy (as the driver or the passenger). I get restless. I get anxious about the potential for accidents. I need to pee.

Anyone want to join me on a road trip and help create some fun long-drive memories?