Five Minute Friday: IF

Five Minute Friday

Note: While this runs completely counter to the point of Five Minute Friday and having a prompt, I am inserting two pictures that I plan to work into this week’s prompt before the prompt is revealed. There’s a particular thread I need to pull in my life and writing right now, so here’s hoping the prompt somehow works into the concepts in my head and these pictures.

Samples of what would work: Bloom, climb, suffocate

Can’t wait to see what I end up with! ~ pk

Today’s prompt: IF

As I mentioned above, there’s an emotional thread I need to go ahead and pull. Not knowing what the prompt would be, I took a leap of faith and found the images below, hoping it would all work out. It has (yay)!

The issue/thread is a relatively private thing that I am trying to do in a public manner (what could possibly go wrong, right?), so I apologize for any additional “cryptic” that characterizes this post.

There is a connection I have been seeking with another individual, and I find myself (in my perception at least) being *that* over-attentive acquaintance that I *know* annoys me when the reverse is true.

You know — the person who is genuinely wonderful, but may not have that much faith in themselves therefore are the first to show up at every gathering (not that punctuality is bad!), if you ask for a glass of water they bring you the glass, plus a backup gallon for when you run out. Giving, but cloying.

There is a fine, fine balance between confidently asserting yourself in someone’s life and sucking the air out of that intangible space that helps an acquaintanceship grow into deeper friendship.

[Timing note — I’m at roughly the 4:30 mark — and stopped writing because I got a phone call — and I guess that’s how this prompt is going to go today. Obviously, I need to finish my response (and at least get to the prompt word), so I invite you to keep reading.]

Here’s a visual. There are some beautiful flowering vines out there. Wisteria is one. I have seen many different gorgeous color variations of wisteria.

However, did you know wisteria is one of the Five Monster Vines Southern Living Says You Should Never Plant? The Southern Living article says Chinese Wisteria and Japanese Wisteria can: “Tear off gutters. Bend iron railings. Strangle trees. Smother entire woods and hillsides.”

Wisteria looks much less attractive if it gloms onto something else in its overzealous way without being patient about finding a way to co-exist beautifully (like this…):

Source: Wikipedia images

Each of us has something to give the world that no one else can do in exactly the same way. Trying to grow connections too fast without taking into account the two-way of this kind of thing can end up being stifling for the other party and exhausting for the person seeking to connect.

(And this is a side note, but the other thing about overzealously pursuing something that just isn’t destined to connect better or more deeply, at least not at the current time, is that I sometimes end up giving short shrift to the people with whom I already have a comfortable, dynamic, trusting fit.)

IF

What if, instead, we appreciated what we already have and had confidence that connections that don’t bloom the way we want them to may still be developing roots?

What if, instead, we accepted that sometimes these gaps between people are not about either person but about timing, or misunderstandings, or for goodness sake — just because they aren’t meant to be?

(Another side note: I think social media complicates all of this — it’s that much harder to read intentions when you have never looked someone in the eyes….)

What if, like the wisteria below, we each worked on strengthening our core values and sense of self? What if we let the people who have been faithful in our lives help build a logical and stable frame so we could stretch out our limbs and bloom?

What if we spent less energy on proving how fast we can climb and how colorfully we can bloom and instead proved our worth to ourselves?

Photo Credit: Flickr user Catherine

Five Minute Friday

Welcome to this week’s Five Minute Friday. Our instructions, via creator Kate Motaung: “Write for five minutes on the word of the week. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation.” (But I can’t resist spell checking, as you can imagine.)

 

Wife of one, Mom of two, Friend of many.

8 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: IF

    • Thank you, Sabrina. I guess the first step for both of us in turning this kind of thing around is recognizing it, right? Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

    • It really does. And although I addressed a specific situation somewhat cryptically in this post (sorry), social media does factor in —- does the person feel like I’m hanging on their every word because I like all of their posts? That kind of thing. It’s easy to overthink — but it’s why I feel like I need to keep pulling at the thread — to find a more even center.

  1. I smiled with understanding as I read your words. I’m thinking there are times we are the ones sucking the air out, and other times, the ones giving. All depends on the little dance. You were breathing out good air for me in this post….thanks for sharing.

    • I am glad it touched something positive for you. And you are SO right that this issue/dynamic changes with the times. I know much of it for me has to do with the season of life I am in —– having been working from home for four years, and always a “1099 employee,” there’s a bigger hole than I realized in not being affiliated (officially) with an employer. It’s still good in 95% of the ways, but it’s easy to start losing perspective. Thanks for stopping by!

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