I am participating in the 31 Days of Free Writes October challenge. This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation. (Confession: I *may* not be able to resist spell-checking!)
Today’s prompt: Truth
I would be a horrible poker player. If I am holding the wrong cards but don’t want my fellow players to know, I am likely to give myself away. I am a horrible liar, white lie, big lie — any lie.
BUT —- being a caregiver of someone with severe short-term memory loss helped me hone my skills in the “white lie” department. Over the three years, I came to see that as a compassionate thing (and a sanity saver for me).
One of my fears as I weigh out whether or not to write a book about my caregiving experience is the concern that I am rapidly losing the details. I wish I had kept a journal. It all seemed so fraught at the time — emotionally, from a time management perspective, etc.
But white lies, they happened. Before the first bout of cancer, Dad was still determined to get to the bar every day (he had a habit of going at 4 p.m.). A day’s level of “pleasant” was made or broken on whether we went or not. I don’t recall that I ever downright said it was “closed” BUT I definitely said my husband was “still at work” when I knew he was at the bar (he goes there every day after work himself).
He lived for his son to get home (second, I guess to living to go to the bar every day). It wouldn’t do for him to know Wayne was there but I had not taken Dad.
The truth is, we have to be creative sometimes to provide the most loving environment for the people in our lives.